The Concept of Love (PLL)
by mlfleishman
Summary: SPOILERS: So King said there would a time leap of 4 years in season 6 so this is after the time leap when all the girls come back. A leaves the girls alone, until they come back to town. This is going to be long, I want each chapter to be almost like a full episode. This is an EMISON story at heart but EZRIA/SPOBY(eventually)/HALEB will have almost equal attention. My version of S6
1. Homecoming

**Emily's POV:**

Being back here, in this town, after so many years is kind of eerie. All of the bad shit that happened to us, going off to college stopped it all. Everyone split up... as far as I know no one kept in touch, at least I didn't. I needed to put as much distance between me and all the crap I went through in this town, and the other girls... they were just walking reminders of everything wrong with the world we live in. Charles, A, whatever he would want to go by, has been radio silent for 4 years. I thought it would be safe to come back, see mom and dad, stroll down memory lane... because not all of my memories were bad.

Before we left, before I lost touch, we all agreed to come back to town after we graduated and meet up. I understand now how my dad feels about the soldiers he served in the army with, when you go through traumatic shit like we did, the people that are left standing are like another limb. When you loose something like that most people suffer from phantom limb syndrome, it'll be nice to finally feel my legs again.

When I got the chance to go, I took it, I went as far as I could before I hit the ocean. I took out loans, applied for grants, used my dad's GI money, I didn't care, I had to get out before I ended up dead. It took a year to get my shoulder back into shape, and I walked onto UCLA's swim team. The next year I was breaking records so fast they gave me a full ride. For 4 years I knew what it felt like to be just a normal college kid, not having to worry if I was going to be framed for murder the next day, I dated girls because I didn't have to lie to them or jump at every text message.

It was an amazing feeling, to be a normal person again... fifteen minutes into my visit home and I already feel myself looking over my shoulder, keeping my eyes peeled for a car to run a red light and try to mow me over. As I walk down the main road, past the Brew and the Grill I inhaled all the smells that I've missed for the past 4 years. But I didn't have time to roam aimlessly, I was supposed to meet mom and dad at the house. I haven't seen them much over the last few years because I refused to come home so they were the ones always coming to visit me.

As I walk through my neighborhood I pass Toby's house. His parents had moved off after the explosion and left him what was left of the house, last thing I heard before I left was that he was still a cop, and was definitely not following Spencer to Oxford. He must have decided to rebuild it. As I passed his house, he was walking out the door. He spotted me before I could hide, which is stupid of me, I don't know why my instinct was to hide from one of my friends.

"Hey Emily!" Toby grinned in a boyish way, which is kind of new for him. I'm glad glad he is happy though, maybe that means A has decided to retire from torturing any of us. "Toby," I say as I squeeze him back. "How long have you been back in town?" he asked me as we separated. As I take a closer look at him I realize that being a cop, and out of the drama that followed him around since Alison came into his life looks like it has done him a lot of good. "I just got here, thought I'd take a walk through town, it's been so long since I've been back here," I suddenly noticed that he was in his uniform, "Oh I'm sorry, you were probably on your way to work. We should go get a cup of coffee later. Catch up."

He looked like he wanted to ask me something but I didn't push it, it was probably about Spencer, and he probably knew more about her than I did at this point. He just smiled at me, "Yeah we should do that," as he headed off to the squad car parked in front of his house.

I finished the walk to my parents house which was only a few feet away. I paused outside of the door for a second taking in the surroundings. My parents didn't know I was coming, I was hoping for it to be a surprise. I really wanted to make my first time home special, but if I had told them I was coming home they would have planned the whole night, and my night needs to be clear to meet the girls.

**Spencer's POV:**

I don't know how many cups of coffee I've had since I stepped off the plane, you have know idea how good a cup of black coffee is when you spent pretty much the past 4 years sipping tea. I did the whole shebang, when I left I totally immersed myself into British culture, and if I thought kicking pills was hard, I had never even tried to stop drinking coffee? It's insane.

The Brew was the only place to get good coffee in this little town of ours. So naturally that is where I was. I sat at the table right in front of the window while I read through my practice LSAT book. It was a sunny summer day in Pennsylvania and I was finally home. After the whole thing with Mona, and Alison's trial I needed to get away, I practically exiled myself to England. I had left Toby because after that whole ordeal I just couldn't look at him anymore. No matter how much I love that boy... lovED that boy, every time I looked at him all I saw was the hell we went through for 3 years.

Wren was still in England, he was a surgeon in one of London's best surgical hospitals, he didn't have the time to come back with me. After I left I bumped into Wren at a tea house in London. He used one of our memories to pick me up.

_Flashback:_

_ "Spencer? Spencer Hastings?" Wren had the biggest grin on his goofy face._

_ "Oh my god! What the hell are you doing here?" I ask him as I stood up to hug him._

_ "I was born here... if anyone is supposed to be here it's probably me." He stepped back to look at me, his hands still holding onto my shoulders. "You can't tell me this is not fate, running into you like this." His accent was always so addicting._

_ "You're not the only person in London you know," I smirked at him. I loved our banter, and I had missed him after he just disappeared off the planet._

_ "True, but we are not longer in a small town Spencer, I think it's fair to say the God's must love us."_

_End Flashback:_

I smiled a little remembering the guy I left standing at the edge of a huge cliff. We had gotten... comfortable in our lives. I wasn't ready for that, I'm only 22, I shouldn't be comfortable in anything, love should be so powerful that it feels like it's ripping every part of me in different directions, it should be epic. Or maybe that's just what I'm used too.

Almost as if on cue I looked up in time to see Toby walking down the street. My breath caught in my throat. Watching him walk in his uniform. I couldn't decide whether I should just sit in my chair and hope he doesn't notice me, or if I should run after him.

Before I had even made the decision in my head, my body had lifted itself out of the chair. It was almost like an out of body experience as I watched myself walk out of the Brew, "Toby..." I said loud enough that I knew he would hear but not loud enough to draw attention. There was a shakiness in my voice I had forgotten. He stopped dead in his tracks as he turned his head to look at me. I got lost, I'm a decent swimmer, but in those amazing eyes it felt like I was drowning. "Toby..." my words drifted off as I tried to decide what to do next.

I didn't have to decide because he started walking towards me. It was a slow walk, I almost wanted to ask if he was being dramatic on purpose, but then I figured it was probably just all in my head. He couldn't still care that much, not after what I did. "Spencer Hastings, the prodigal returns," with a half smile on his face. I couldn't tell if he was trying to be nice or if it just hurt him too much to actually smile.

When I pulled away from the hug I forced him into, our eyes locked for what seemed like a century, and that's when I felt it, I felt my heart being pulled in every direction... this is the feelings I'd been searching for.

**Alison's POV:**

After being forced on the run for two years I definitely learned how to appreciate the shit I have in the moment, because things could be gone in an instant. I learned that the hard way, and so now I never hide anything, or at least in New York I never hid anything... as I pass the sign that read **Welcome to Rosewood** I felt every little insecurity come back with a vengeance. This was the place where I had made every mistake possible... New York had been my escape, it had been my sanctuary. I had felt safe in such a big place, but now that I'm entering the town that held all of my deep dark secrets, I feel the weight of every single one crushing my soul.

"Are you okay Ali?" the blond in my passenger seat broke me out of my own head. I signed, "I'm okay Hannah... I'm not ready for this but I'm okay." Me and Hannah didn't always have the best relationship but eventually we had to learn how to deal with each other at NYU. She was a fashion major and I went into interior design. We didn't exactly see much of each other until the company I was interning for was designing the set for the fashion show she was working on.

She couldn't exactly hate me when we were spending every moment together for a month. I've changed a lot since high school. When I got to college I decided that it would be different. So I never told a lie, even if the truth hurt, I realized being an honest bitch was much better than being a conniving liar. It was so much simpler, and after everything that happened, simple was an amazing feeling.

"So what are we doing first? Do you wanna stop by your moms house? Let her know we got here safely?" I asked Hannah but she was staring out of the window. "Are you okay Hannah?" I asked her as I put on hand on her shoulder. We had grown close again, it was nice to know we weren't alone in the big city.

"What are we doing Ali? Why the fuck are we coming back here? We have been in the clear for 4 years, I mean how stupid do we have to be to give A another crack at us. We almost lost everything last time." Hannah wasn't scared like most of us, she was angry. She was angry at the world, at God, at the justice system, for a long time I didn't really recognize the girl. She came around eventually, but it hasn't gone away really.

"Don't you want to see everybody? I mean we are all coming back. Spencer, Aria..." I trailed off, if I said her name I knew I would get butterflies in my stomach and probably kill us both in a wreck. Hannah seemed to notice my silence but didn't comment on it, Emily was a non subject with us. If I had wanted any chance of a life, I had to lock Emily up in a tiny little box at the back of my head. The thought of the brunette that I was going to see tonight... I felt every hair on my body stand up, water welled in my eyes to the point where I could barely see the road... this is why Emily was never allowed out of her box, I completely broke down at the thought of her.

"Ali! Get yourself together! Fuck it's been four years and many many many other people since then. You got this, it was just high school. We can handle seeing them for a week or two. Pull your shit together," she coached me every time I got like this. Like I was one of her runway models that needed to be kicked into gear.

"You know, yelling used to be my job," I say elbowing her playfully. As I saw her smile out of the corner of my eyes. I was a bitch back then, but I really did everything I thought of to protect them, in a screwed up way of course.

"Yes well, you went off to college and got all healed and evolved... I went to college and just became the bitch I was always meant to be. So you've changed Ali, if I can see it, I know the others will. Everything will be fine, and if it's not, there isn't much the five of us can't deal with."

**Aria's POV:**

If I don't get out of here soon I'm going to miss the meeting with the girls. I ran through the house like a chicken with my head cut off trying to find my keys. As I ran my fingers through my hair I felt a steadying hand on my shoulder, "Are you looking for these?" that voice still made my heart skip a beat. The love of my life, my high school teacher, my husband, the father of my unborn child... Ezra. (Mental note 'Tell Ezra he's going to be a daddy'.)

"You are my hero, did you know that?" I turned around to be swept up in his arms. I can't believe this actually worked out. After A, after the book, after the prison incident, after many sleepless nights at the college paper, we made it. He was a professor and a writer, and I was on my way to being a journalist for the Philadelphia Daily News.

"People normally let their hero protect them Aria. I mean that town is not exactly known for being a safe haven for you," he was so genuinely concerned. He was going to make an amazing father. And this time the kid will actually be his.

"I don't need protection. A is gone, he has to be. And it's not like we are moving there, it's just a couple of weeks. Don't worry so much baby, you'll get wrinkles." I said as I rocked onto my tip toes to place a soft gentle kiss on his lips.

I slowly made my way to the door as I gave him one last kiss I grinned widely, "I get to see my best friends after 4 years Ezra, I don't have any room to be scared. All my emotion is focused on happy thoughts." I turned and made my way down the street to my car. It's all going to be okay. It has to be.

He called after me, "Don't forget to ask them about the wedding!"

**Emily's POV:**

Of course we would decide to meet in the middle of the night. I guess some things never change; once you get used to secret meetings, and violent threats, the habit of hiding never really goes away. As I sit here, at this almost sacred place, I look around noticing that I'm still alone. What if they don't come, what if they all forgot... what if she forgot. At that thought I could literally feel a knife slicing a piece of my heart. I stood up because if nothing else, I was going to pace back and forth ready to run if anything happened.

I changed clothes five times before I settled on the outfit I was wearing, which is kind of absurd because it is the most simple outfit anyone could ever own. White shirt and blue jean shorts that were honestly a little to short, but whatever.

I hear a crack in the woods and I freeze. I can't be sure if it's the girls or if it's something much worse. My mind automatically goes to the bad place, it's always better to be over prepared when the worst possible thing happens.

"Emily?" I hear a voice come out of the darkness. A voice I recognize and I automatically relax as Aria steps out of the shadows. We both smiled at each other as the smaller girl squealed and jumped into my arms. I spun her around and we fell back into the little kids we used to be giggling at the site of each other.

"Aria! How have you been? Where are the others?" I asked her as I set her back down. She was still holding my hand. I chuckled a little, "It's so good to see you. Four years is an extremely long time."

"What I don't get swept up in a princess twirl?" Spencer's voice interrupted us as she also stepped out of the shadows on the other side of the clearing. I had missed her sarcasm. I grinned as I hugged her tightly.

"No just because you live in a country that actually has a princess doesn't mean you get to be one," I said jokingly as we untangled ourselves. She playfully pushed me and we all laughed. Our laughter was interrupted by rustling deeper in the forest.

I heard whispering and what sounded like hushed motivation. I knew it could only be the one person I'd been worried about seeing. As the two blondes stepped out of the tree line I had to place one hand on my stomach, desperately trying to calm to swarm building in my stomach. I didn't have a voice box to use and I think Aria picked up on that so she stepped in for me.

"Wow, I never expected to see the two of you come in together," she says as she wrapped one arm around each of them. "When did this happen?"

Hannah just shook her head. "It's a long story, but it does involve me getting to boss Ali around, so there's a plus," Hannah grinned mischievously but Alison pushed her over and she landed on the ground. "Rude bitch," Hannah said to Alison as she extended her hand to help Hannah up. "It's what you deserve sometimes," Ali said.

I noticed Ali was making a conscious effort to not look at me... and I don't know if I'm relieved or if I want to curl up into a ball. We all came together for a group hug. Me and Ali were on opposite sides and facing each other but as we all pulled each other closer she couldn't avoid my eyes and I couldn't avoid getting lost in the blue sea in front of me. I had to close my eyes to regain my footing.

We all giggled and hugged each other individually again. I had my legs back, I could feel them under me, I could move them again without any pain. It was an amazing feeling to have everyone here, but it was like stabbing myself in the gut over and over to look at Alison.

As we all sat around the kissing rock and told stories of what has happened in the last few years, our laughter was broken by 5 different ring tones going off at the same time...

We all looked at each other. It's impossible, it has to be impossible. We all reached for our phones and in a split second we turned into 15 year old girls again. "Welcome home ladies. Let the games begin, x.o.x.o. A"


	2. Heartbreaking Conversations

_**So the first chapter was really to get you acquainted with the girls and their attitudes after college. To explain a little about what they are all up too. Emily doesn't really have a direction in life that was clear in the first chapter, I'm still working on that. **_

_**I'd love suggestions, like I said this is going to be a long story, so if there is something you would like to see, or anything you have in your head then give me a review and tell me. Ill try to work it in.**_

_**And please let me know what you guys want me to do with Hanna's love life... because I honestly don't know at this point.**_

****When there are lyrics in italics, I suggest listening to the song as you read the scene, because that's what Im doing when I write it. Sets the mood of what I want to get across****

**Hanna's POV:**

I can't tear my eyes away from my phone. This has to be some kind of joke, we've only been in town a few hours, its insane that A waited 4 years to come back. I could hear the other girls freaking out. I looked around and I could see it on their faces.

It was Emily who spoke up first, "I can't do this again," she said she was the one who looked petrified the most, "We all need to leave, we need to get the hell outta dodge... if staying apart is what needs to happen to keep us safe then I say we scatter to the four corners."

When she said this my eyes automatically darted to Alison to make sure she was okay. I've spent time with Alison, and she is not the strong person I used to think of her as... Emily leaving broke her or something. "No," I said it before I could even stop myself. I felt something course through my body, I don't know what it was, but all of sudden I had a conviction I never thought I would have again. "Emily don't run. I'm done, and you guys should be too. Stop being so fucking scared of this looser, get angry! Get livid, get something!" I didn't realize I was yelling at them.

"Hanna we have tried this before," Spencer said. She was the one I expected to back me first and I know she will. "We were kids, we are all college graduates, we aren't in high school anymore. We don't have parents to tell us what to do. I'm not running. I will stay here and fight. I refuse to be scared of my own god damn shadow for the rest of my life."

They were all staring at me with their mouths open. I've changed since high school, I'm in control of my own life, and I'll be damned if someone is going to take that away from me again. Alison moved to my side, I looked her in the eyes and gave her a supportive smile, "I agree with Hanna, I spent two years running, and half of one in jail because of A. I'm done running, and if you guys were smart you would be too. Let's flush him out so we can get on with our lives," I knew that once Emily heard that Ali was staying, she wouldn't go anywhere. That kind of love doesn't die, no matter how deep you bury it.

Spencer was the next one to get behind me on my plan to take down A. I saw Emily shake her head and start to turn around to walk away, but Alison jumped after her. She caught Emily by the arm. I could feel the air freeze around them when they touched. "Emily... please don't leave. I can't protect you if you're not here." I could barely hear them talking but I was zoned in on the conversation.

Emily just stood there for a long time, I couldn't tell whether she was going to leave or stay. For the longest time we were all in a stand still until Emily turned around, "Okay, I'm in."

The last one of us was Aria, but she had sunk back down onto the kissing rock. She was gripping her knees so tight that her knuckles were white, "What about you Aria... are you in?" I was trying to read her face but all I saw was fear. Aria had been through a lot with A, killing Shauna had left a mark that would probably never go away.

Aria raised her head to look at us but it was like she couldn't form the words. Emily moved over to her side and comforted her. Aria started to cry. That was concerning, "What is it Aria?" She looked me in the eyes, "It's not just me I have to worry about," she looked down at her hands.

"Ezra will be fine, he isn't even here Aria," Emily was consoling the crying girl but that statement just made her cry more. "Aria you can tell us anything, you know that." Alison gasped and we all looked at her like she was crazy, but Aria looked at her with pleading eyes. "Your pregnant," Ali said in a pitch just above a whisper.

Aria just nodded as she continued to cry, "I don't know that an all out war with A is such a good idea when I have a baby to think about," she stood up though. "Do you want to bring a baby into a world that has A in it? If we don't fight now, our kids could pay the price," Ali said to her. I saw her sneak a glance at Emily. Emily was the only person Ali had ever considered having kids with. Ali doesn't know that I know that, she let it slip one night when she was drunk.

When Aria didn't oppose her I took that as a sign that she was in. "We need a base camp," I said to them but I didn't know where it should be. Our parents still lived in our old houses... except Alison's. Jason owned their house, but Jason was in Africa trying to find his soul or some shit. "Ali can we use your house?"

* * *

**Alison's POV:**

I'm pretty much past the issues with my mom trying to bury me alive, but there is only so much someone can grow. Getting over that completely might take my whole life. Ever since I stopped running all those years ago, this house has felt alien to me. But this was now base camp as Hanna put it. I'm going to have to come up with a better name at some point.

After we all decided that we were going to make our stand, that A was not running us out of OUR town ever again. We needed supplies. So we hit target, because me and Hanna would never be caught dead in Wal-Mart. We stocked up on: food, drinks, alcohol, toiletries, white boards, tape, markers, phone chargers, locks, pretty much anything we would ever need if we were somehow stuck in that house with no where to go. We all bought guns and knives at the 'gun and knife' store, we were prepared for full on war of any kind.

I've kept my distance from Emily since my outburst at the kissing rock. I hadn't meant to grab her but my body reacted to her leaving before my head could stop it. While I was by no means celibate during college, I had never actually had a relationship either. Hanna thinks I'm still waiting for Emily, I think that's crazy. We may have had a chance before she thought I was A, but after that I was in jail and after that we all left. It's not that I'm waiting for her, it's that no one has ever measured up to her before. I, Alison DiLaurentis, do not settle and anything less than Emily Fields would be settling.

The sight in my living room was crazy, it looked like Hanna was trying to replicate A's lair, but without the computers and the serial killer wall of obsession. I looked at my friends though, a certain calmness washed over my body. If we all stuck together, nothing could stop us... the problem was last time it was way to easy to come between us. Maybe this go around, it won't be so easy for them to turn on me, or each other.

I felt somebody watching me, it was easy to do after 2 years on the run. When I looked up to see who it was I caught her, but she covered it up really well. If I had the stomach to look at her, I probably would too, but a few wrong words and that girl could bring my world crashing down around me.

I made my way to the front porch because I felt like I was going to loose it if I had to look into those deep brown eyes._  
_

_**Boston – Augustana_

_ You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,  
She said  
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,_

_She said I think I'll go to Boston..._  
_I think I'll start a new life,_  
_I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,_  
_I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,_  
_I think I'll get a lover and fly him out to Spain..._  
_Oh yeah and I think I'll go to Boston,_  
_I think that I'm just tired_  
_I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind..._

I need to lean against the porch railing so my legs don't give out under the pressure. I don't know that I'll be able to do this, if I'll be able to look at her everyday. Silent tears were rolling down my face.

"Ali?" I heard a muffled voice, but I'd recognize it anywhere. She was checking on me, at least she still cared enough to do that.

I had to clear my throat before speaking or she would know I'd been crying. "Yeah Em? Do you guys need help or something?"

"N..no," she was hesitant, "I just saw you walk out... I wanted to check on you... you have had the roughest go around with A... I just needed to make sure you were okay."

I tightened my grip on the railing and let my head hang down so that I could pull myself together. "I'm fine. I just, uhmm I just needed some air, you know?"

"Ali, you can let me in, let me help you," she was right next to me, I could see her shadow, she was trying to make up her mind about touching me. I really really needed her not too.

"Why would I do that Emily? So you can disappear again? So you can get scared and run?"

I could feel her burning a hole in the side of my face. She was shocked, hell I was shocked. "Do not do that. Do not blame me."

"Who else am I supposed to blame Emily? You were the first of any of us to tuck tail and run. And you ran as far as you could fucking get. So no Emily, I don't need to let you in. You don't have a good track record. I mean one time you turned me into the cops for murder without a second thought! And the other time, you ran to the opposite side of the country without so much as a fucking phone call," I wasn't yelling because then she would hear the crack in my voice, so I resorted to gritting my teeth and trying to sound as hostile as I could while I was crying.

"I can't apologize for the Mona thing the rest of my life, you don't hold it against anyone else Ali." She was standing with her back towards me so I couldn't see her face.

"I wasn't in love with the others Em, I didn't trust them with my heart and soul, I didn't let them see me at my lowest point, I didn't need them to believe me... I needed you Emily, and you weren't there... so I learned to not need you. And I don't need you now, I'm finally at a place where I don't need Emily Fields to wrap her arms around me and make everything better."

She moved closer to me, I could feel her breath on the back of neck, and I couldn't focus, I couldn't breath properly. "Not everything is always about what you need Alison. Most of us aren't as strong as you think we are," she was so close to my ear I could feel the moisture from her breath.

I shuddered involuntarily and turned my head to meet her gaze. Our lips were so close together if we had moved even an inch we would be kissing. I was lost in the brown and I couldn't feel my body anymore, in this moment it was just about falling into her soul.

"EMILY! ALI!" we jumped apart like we were teenagers again, sneaking kisses in deserted libraries. Hanna was calling us back inside. Neither one of us looked at each other the rest of the night.

* * *

**Spencer's POV:**

I woke up before everyone else, it's always been like that. I walked out onto the front porch to smoke... a bad habit I picked up in Europe. I climbed up to sit on the railing. The crisp morning air felt amazing. It was definitely surreal to be back here with everyone, and be under attack all over again.

Maybe Hanna was right though, we are all so much older, most of us have changed at least a little bit. Like Hanna, Hanna changed into a take charge and get shit done type of person. Ali changed, I mean she still has a temper, sharp tongue, and all around alpha personality but something was different, she hadn't lied since she got here which for her is a record I'm sure. Emily seems a little, maybe weaker isn't the right word, but she has lost her back bone. Then there is Aria, who is pregnant, so that's a change, I'm sure her maternal instincts are gonna kick in eventually.

I jumped down from the railing, deciding to go for a walk. It's been forever since I took a walk through town. As I passed Emily's house I stopped and looked at Toby's front door. Should I go knock? I mean he is a cop now, knowing our little group, he will probably arrest half of us by the end of the week. With A back in the picture, he could be a good ally to have. With that thought I marched up to the door with a purpose, I would love to have some heartbreaking conversation with him, but I need to get him to help, I can't come back into his life asking for more than one favor at a time. So I knocked on the door and waited.

_**Heaven Forbid – The Fray_

_Heaven forbid you end up alone  
You don't know why  
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow  
You'll be alright_

_Yeah, out of this one  
I don't know how to get you out of this one  
I don't know how to get you out of this one  
I don't know how to get you out of this one  
I don't know how to get you out of this one_

It took a minute but a groggy Toby finally poked his head out of the open window. When he saw it was me at the door I saw his face stiffen. He opened the door a few seconds later. He looked very confused. "Sp-spencer? Wh-what are you doing here? It's 6 o'clock in the morning."

"I know, I'm sorry but it's important... can I come in?" I tried to show him it was important in my eyes. There was a time we could communicate with out words at all, maybe that is still possible.

He didn't answer verbally but he did open the door wide enough for me to come in. I walked into his house, it was a lot different than before the explosion, he must have built it all... it looks a lot like the house we used to talk about building.

"So talk... what's so important it couldn't wait until after breakfast?" His voice pulled me out of my thoughts, that voice used to be so beautiful to me, hell it still was.

"I-The girls... we might need your help," I say to him and he laughs at me. I'm being serious, I'm having a serious moment, and he is laughing. I'm confused.

"What could you five possibly need my help for now?" he looked a little hurt.

"He's back... Charles, A, whatever you wanna call him, we received the text last night," I was doing my best not to run to him and make sure he is okay. I need him to understand the magnitude of what I'm asking.

"So leave, when you guys went off to college he stopped right? So leave again. This town has been a safe place to live again for the past 4 years." Now he was having a serious moment, and I wanted to shake him for it.

"No. We aren't running, not this time. We are going to stay, and we are going to fight. This is our home, and he does not get to take that from us again. He does not get to destroy our lives, or our loved ones lives, or the lives of our children. We are going to fight, and I'm asking you... I'm begging you... help me." I don't think I've ever needed anything more than I need him to say yes right now.

He just looked at me, almost like he was looking through me. He stepped closer to me and my breath caught in the back of my throat, "I'm sorry, but as a police officer, I can't do anything unless they threatened your life. Was your life threatened Miss Hastings?"

I swear my mouth hit the floor. Who was this person standing in front of me, and what had he done with Toby? I just left, I had to get out of that house, I felt like I was going to suffocate.

_**Don't worry, Toby comes around of course. He just needed to nurse his wounded pride.**_


	3. Dysfunctional Family

_**Thanks for all the reviews, glad you guys are liking the story.**_

_**Again, if there is anything you guys want to see, let me know. Unlike the actual writers, I look forward to giving the fans what they want.**_

_**It's been a while since I've written a rated M scene, sorry if it wasn't up to par.**_

**Spencer's POV:**

After I walked off the hurt in my heart, it was finally time for the other girls to wake up. Deciding to fight was all good, but if we didn't start right away it wouldn't take A long before he was so many steps ahead we would never catch up. The fact that Toby had been such a dick... well I didn't have time to think about that. There was to much to do, and the clock was ticking.

When I walked back into the house everyone was up, Hanna had put on a pot of coffee, and Aria was cooking. We looked like a family... a very strange, very polygamist, type of homosexual family but still... a family we could count on no matter what.

Hanna was giggling on the phone, this was a very different Hanna than I had seen last night, this was the Hanna I remembered from high school. "Okay babe, I can't wait to see you," and she made kissing noises in the phone, which after what I just went through made me wanna gag.

"Who was that?" I asked shutting the door. They all looked at me like I was stupid or something.

"Caleb of course. Nobody else but those two are capable of making you wanna throw up as much as I know you want to right now," Alison commented as she walked down the stairs.

Her hair was thrown up into a messy bun. She was still in pajamas. I don't think I've ever seen Ali look this... normal. I think everyone had the same thought running through their head, except Hanna. She just chucked a couch pillow in Ali's direction.

Aria just gave Hanna a big smile, "Don't listen to them. They are just jealous that we have amazing men in our lives."

"I'm absolutely positive that is not it," Ali stated as she bypassed the coffee for a bottle of tequila.

"It's a little early Ali," Hanna said as she snatched the bottle out of the other blondes hand.

Alison rolled her eyes and took the bottle back, "Some of us are going to need alcohol to get through this living situation with a little bit of sanity left."

"Speaking of, where is Emily?" I asked the three girls that were downstairs.

"No, not speaking of. Don't speak of it Spencer," Ali said as she knocked back a shot of tequila. She trained her eyes on the bottle so that she didn't look around the room for Emily involuntarily, "but she is in the shower, FYI."

I tried really hard to keep from laughing. It's really amusing to watch those two try not to be in love. As much as none of us wanted Emily to be in love with her in high school, now that it would probably help the two of them, they don't want anything to with each other... I'm so glad I don't have lesbian drama.

"Where have you been Spence?" Aria spoke up and suddenly I was the center of attention.

"Yeah I was looking for you this morning, I figured you might want to go running with me," Emily flitted down the stairs and joined in on the conversation.

"I went for a walk... ended up at Toby's house," I paused replaying that conversation in my head. I don't know what the other girls saw, but Aria gave me a sympathetic hug. "I thought he would help us... but I think we can rule out an alliance with Rosewoods Finest."

"You broke his heart Spencer, you literally left him in the dust, of course he is not gonna want to help you," Ali was still drinking her tequila when she decided to push the knife a little deeper in.

I saw Emily wince at the harshness in Alison's tone of voice. "Alison!" Hanna scolded her, "your cut off," she said as she took the bottle. This time Ali didn't put up a fight.

"I'll talk to him, maybe he will be more receptive if it comes from me," Emily was wearing her heart on her sleeves these days. (Mental Note: kick her ass back into fighting shape)

* * *

**Emily's POV:**

I understand Ali's need to be under the influence of something to deal with living in that house with all of us, but I'm not sure I can handle Ali as a mean drunk. It's like everything she says is pointed at me somehow. I don't know how to fix it, I don't know that I can... I never really thought about it, but I guess I did kind of leave her in the dust, especially after the night we spent together when the whole Mona thing was dealt with.

_Flashback:_

_** I Will Remember You – Sara Mclachlan_

_I'm so tired but I can't sleep  
Standin' on the edge of something much too deep  
It's funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word  
Though we are screaming inside oh  
We can't be heard_

_I will remember you  
Will you remember me?  
Don't let your life pass you by  
Weep not for the memories_

_I'm so afraid to love you, but more afraid to lose  
Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose  
But once there was a darkness, deep and endless night  
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light_

"_Ali," I whispered, I didn't want to wake her up if she was sleeping, but I couldn't go to sleep without apologizing. I didn't do anything to protect her, and I almost lost her forever._

_She rolled over to face me, she didn't want to sleep alone tonight, and I honestly didn't want to let her out of my site. She stared at me with those amazing blue eyes. I didn't know what to say to make it better, I didn't know if there was anything that could make it better._

_She just looked at me. I felt like she was looking into my soul, but it was almost like I could see her walls collapsing, I could feel her body relax next to mine. She was giving in, she was going to give herself to me, and I wanted her too. _

"_Ali, I'm so sorry," my voice was barely at a whisper, my heart hurt so much I felt like I was going to cry._

_She noticed the change in my eyes and softly kissed my lips. It was the most amazing feeling, her lips were soft and full. My head started to spin, it was like I didn't have control of my own body._

_I flicked my tongue across her bottom lip, my hands found their way to her waist. She allowed me entrance and I wanted to memorize every detail. I've been waiting years to know what Alison felt like, and I didn't want to miss anything._

_I reigned myself in, she just got out of jail, I had turned my back on her when she needed me, did I really have any right to want her so deeply. She whimpered, "Emily.. please," the way she sounded, her voice was low and raspy, I could see the desire in her eyes._

_Our lips crashed into each other. I pulled her closer to me as I slowly moved my hips against her. She moaned and it was the most amazing thing I'd ever heard. If angels could sing they would sound like this._

_We rolled over so that she was on top, and I lifted her tank top off of her body, she wasn't wearing a bra, and her nipples were hard. It was like looking at art that brought tears to your eyes. She was so beautiful, and even though her chest was bare, I could tell she was baring her soul at the same time._

"_God Alison... you look so-so beautiful," I didn't even recognize my own voice. It was husky, and my hands were trembling. I felt the wetness building between my legs, and I needed to know she felt the same way._

_I flipped her over, needing to be inside her, needing to feel her surround me. She was grinding against the thigh that was between her legs, and I let out a moan because I felt her core, and it was so wet it made me loose my mind._

_She reached for my face and pulled me down to her. Her kisses were hard and demanding, but that's not what I wanted this to be. I wanted to make love to her, I wanted to show her every feeling I had ever felt for her, I wanted her to know that I would always be there because my heart would shatter if I wasn't._

"_Ali-Ali slow down. I want to remember this for the rest of my life. I want you to beg for it."_

"_Baby I am begging for it," she said with a crooked grin. I smiled a mischievous smile at her, "not yet but you will be."_

_I slipped my hand under the hem of her pants and traced circles around her clit. She closed her eyes and arched her hips into my hand, trying to control the situation. I brought my finger up to her face and traced her lips with her juices. She parted her lips to let out a moan but I dipped my finger into her mouth. She licked herself off of my finger and I leaned down to taste her. The kiss was soft and slow, but I took her bottom lip into my mouth and sucked all the moistness from it._

"_God you taste amazing," as I continued to kiss her my hand traveled back down to her clit and I kneaded circles around it, as I rubbed over the bundle of nerves I could feel her body jerk under me._

_She moaned and gasped and clutched my back, she would drag her nails down my back and I moaned into her mouth. Fuck, this was amazing, how had I lived my whole life not knowing this feeling._

"_Emily please, please, I need you inside me, I need you to fuck me... OH GOD, Em," her body shook as I hit her clit in the perfect spot. I moaned into her mouth, I don't think I could make her wait, I needed it just as much as she did. My fingers were slipping in all of her wetness._

"_How bad do you want me? Do you want me to make you cum?" I was whispering in her ear, I couldn't help but smile. It was an amazing feeling to hear Ali beg for me and need me._

_She bit down on my shoulder as she forcefully thrust her hips into my hand. "God baby please. I can_

_t-I can't wait, I need-need you, oh fuck." I felt her shudder again. I couldn't control myself anymore, teasing her just made it worse for me._

_I slipped one finger softly into her pussy and started making circles, making sure to touch every wall inside of her. She started rocking her hips against my hand trying to make me go faster but I wouldn't. I wanted to drag this out, I wanted her to remember this for the rest of her life._

"_Baby more, deeper," she couldn't say more because she was moaning into my mouth as I kissed her. Biting her bottom lip as I slid one more to fill her insides. She latched onto my back and wrapped her legs around me so that my hand couldn't go anywhere._

_I moved my fingers in and out, in a circular motion and she moved her hips in rhythm with my hand. She kept saying my name over and over throwing a fuck and shit in there randomly, like they were the only words she knew._

_I could feel her walls tighten around my fingers, I knew she was close and I was about to cum just from hearing her moan. She closed her eyes and threw her head back but I grabbed the back of her head and angled it at me, "Look at me. I want you to look at me."_

_I pushed my fingers in one more time and curled them. I saw her eyes widen, and leaned down and covered her mouth with mine as she moaned into my mouth I felt her body shake. The next thing that happened was something I didn't expect, when the orgasm shook her body I felt her cum squirt all over my arm._

"_Fuck... I love you Ali, I love you so much," I let myself relax on top of her as we kissed. I heard my phone vibrate, but I ignored it because I was finally with the girl I loved._

_End Flashback:_

When I snapped out of my head I was in front of Toby's house. Damn I didn't know I'd walked all the way here, but I guess I'm here now. Maybe he will want to get that coffee now. So I knocked on the door. It took a minute or so but he opened it. He wasn't in his uniform, maybe this was his day off, "Hey," I said to him as I kind of half waived.

He smiled at me, "Emily, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see if you wanted to grab that coffee? I haven't been to the Brew in a few years," I chuckled a little under my breath, I still can't believe that I'm back.

"Yeah, of course. Let me get dressed," he opened the door up for me, "Come in, sit down."

While Toby was getting dressed I roamed around the house. It was beautiful. It was modern, everything in the kitchen was stainless steel, deep double sided sinks. This kitchen was the ideal place to cook amazing food. It is inspired.

"Ready?" he asked as he came out of a bedroom, I'm guessing it's his.

We walked down to the Brew talking about random things. I told him about college and about how excited I was to have my physical therapy license, and how I'm thinking about going to med school for sports medicine.

He talked about his job, and how quiet it has been around here. I didn't want to rush into asking him to help us, or even why he doesn't want to. We walked into the Brew and got the table in the back where I used to study.

He sat down and placed his hands on the table, he was looking at me with a sideways grin, "So get it out Emily."

"Get what out?" I was kind of confused, that was out of the blue.

"I know why you showed up on my door step today... I do know your girls, you couldn't have changed that much," he was holding both hands together and his eyes were studying my face, he is definitely a good cop.

"I'm not here to talk you into helping Spencer. I get it, she walked away from you, she broke your heart. Believe me, I understand that better than you might think," I put my hands over his. Trying to show him compassion because I know his heart is broken. "I was hoping you would help me."

He just looked at me, he let his head drop, he was weighing his options. "Look I know, you want to stick it to her, you wanna show her she doesn't have control over you anymore... but you know she does. Just like Alison still has control over me, just like I still have control over her, hell I have so much control she was drinking tequila at 8 o'clock this morning. We all have a past, and our pasts are wrapped up in each other so bad, that screwing Spencer signs all of our death certificates Toby. Your a cop, your supposed to help the helpless, and you know from experience, we could use a cop on our side... we could use you Toby. Your family, you don't always have to like your family, but family is always there when you need them... always."

* * *

**Alison's POV:**

I've been slowly drinking all day. I'd like to blame it all on Emily, but it's not just her, it's this place, it's this situation that A has thrown us back into. But I can't really be mad, because A is Charles DiLaurentis, he is my brother, he is taking all of this out on my friends because of me. I don't know what I ever did to him, but this has to be all my fault, and I need to be the one that fixes it. I need to be the one that protects my friends, that is what I do, even when they don't know it.

Emily actually got Toby to agree to help us. We are having a strategy session. Spencer's theory is that if we start out at a run, we might actually be able to catch up... but we are kind of 4 years behind so I don't know how sound her theory is.

"When is Ezra getting here Aria?" I know they didn't want to start without everyone here but the longer we all sit in this room, the harder it is for me to avoid Emily. After what happened last night, avoiding her seems to be the best option, especially because I'm drunk right now.

"He's on his way from Philly.. we can start now, I mean I can fill him in later," she didn't seem too worried so we all started talking, trying to make sense of some kind of plan.

As everyone was throwing ideas around out loud I was thinking to myself. How did I not know about him? No one knew about him, my mom never spoke of him, neither did my dad. I was the girl that knew everyone's secrets, how did I not know this huge ass secret?

"Why would my parents not tell anyone about him?" I posed my question to the group, I think I have a valid theory but I want to know if anyone else can follow my logic.

"Obviously there is something wrong with him," Spencer chimed in.

"Right, and where do people go in this town when there is something really fucked up with them?" I asked. My thought was fully formed in my head now, and I think Spencer was on the right track.

It wasn't Spencer who spoke this time though, it was Toby, "Radley, they go to Radley."

"Your moms on the Board of Directors at Radley. She could easily have kept this under wraps. Admitted him under a different name or something," Spencer again going for the gold.

"So what are we going to do? Sneak into Radley and hope we stumble onto some piece of evidence that might be Charles DiLaurentis?" Emily was the one who spoke up next. I wonder why she was being so pessimistic.

"We've snuck in before, we could do it again," Spencer of course going for the detective approach.

"Maybe you guys should try not to brake the law... last time you were all in town, you almost ended up in prison for the rest of your adult lives," and there goes Toby. He's a cop, I wonder how far he is going to let us go illegally, since it is his job to uphold the law.

"Or Caleb could just hack into the computer system, it's the 21'st century, they have to keep files on a computer somewhere, right?" Hanna coming in for the win.

"That's what we should. They won't be looking for someone to hack into their computers. It's not as risky. Just because we are declaring war doesn't mean we should go all out on offensive and forget to build some walls to cover our backs," I feel like I should re-read the Art of War. I have a feeling we are going to need it. Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory, tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.


	4. CH

_**Okay guys, so now that I'm in the writing mood again I'm going to pick up with the two other stories I have going on. The story that gets the most reviews after each chapter is the story I will write first. So if you like this leave me a review to let me know.**_

**Emily's POV:**

After we had decided on a plan, it was just about waiting for the others to actually get here. Ezra was in Philly, so it didn't take him but an hour or two to arrive. The two of them looked super cute, and super in love. Something I desperately wish that I had.

We were all sitting in the living room goofing around, bringing up old memories from high school, I noticed that Ali didn't really have any, mostly because she was 'dead' for most of it, and the other part because the only memories we had with her were filled with pain or insults.

The last few days had been different for me and Alison, it was like she retracted her claws, like she had finally come to terms with the fact that we were going to be spending too much time together for her to continue to hate me. But I don't blame her. We made love, she let her guard down, and the next day I practically ran out of town, and she has no idea why... now it seems like the stupidest thing I'd ever do in my life.

Hanna was bouncing up and down in her seat, she was so excited to see Caleb. If you could believe it, he is working at some private security company that contracts out to government agencies and high powered corporations. All in all if you looked at the majority of us, we actually had our lives together.

Ali is interning with a huge design firm in New York, Hanna is working her way up the later on the New York fashion scene, Spencer... well Spencer still has to go to law school, and Aria starts her job at the newspaper in the fall. Ezra is a professor, Toby is a cop... and then there is me. Yeah I want to apply to med school, but how the hell am I supposed to pay for that? I need a job, I can't just be here fighting A and let the rest of my life slip away.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Ezra coming into the living room holding a bottle of wine and Aria carrying seven wine glasses. He cleared his throat to get our attention. "Okay because Aria couldn't find the right time, between your crazy plan for taking back this town," he said trying to hold back a laugh. I guess we really had come a lot farther than what he remembered of us, "we have an announcement."

They poured us each a glass and Aria passed is to us. We already knew she was pregnant, what else were they going to tell us... but at least I had the sense to say that in my head, Spencer on the other hand, lacked patience, "Ezra we already know! Your gonna be a great dad," she told him.

Obviously that was not what the older man was expecting to hear come out of her mouth. Aria's expression was priceless, it almost looked like the bottle of wine was going to drop out of her hand so I moved quickly to support it in her grasp.

Out of the silence, Ali erupted into laughter, god her laughter was angelic, "You know, Spencer I really don't think that was what we were celebrating," she tried to contain her laughter, but no matter how much she has changed since high school, sometimes you can't change peoples fundamental building blocks, and being catty with other peoples secrets is just written in her bones.

I couldn't help it, Ali sounded like a little girl without a care in the world, I giggled a little, not at the situation but at Ali. She cut her eyes to look at me and gave me a soft smile. It was nice, to be somewhat comfortable around each other again.

"You-your pregnant?" Ezra was facing Aria now, it looked like his knees were about to give out, so he just slumped down into the chair behind him. Spencer looked like a deer caught in the headlights, "Oops."

Aria just looked over at Spencer and shook her head, "What? You didn't tell us it was secret!" Spencer's voice sounded strained.

"How long? How far along are you?" Ezra whispered it, I'm pretty sure he didn't mean too, but he sounded as if he didn't trust his own voice.

"Not long, only 2 months," Aria said as she rubbed her hand up and down his back trying to bring him back to reality.

"So what WERE we celebrating?" Hanna broke through the silence.

"Well," Ezra was regaining his ability to speak like an adult male, "I was going to say that we were getting married."

All of us cooed over them for the better part of thirty minutes, asking all about the wedding, of course Ali and Hanna jumped right into career mode, and insisted that they be in charge of the decoration, and the attire.

This was going to be one wedding this town was never going to forget, now that Ezra knew Aria was pregnant, they decided to move up the wedding. Hanna wanted to make sure that Aria could still fit into an amazing dress before she started showing. This was the first time since we arrived that we weren't 100% focused on stopping A.

As we all took turns hugging Aria, the door opened and Caleb walked into the house. He stopped at the doorway and furrowed his eyebrows, "What's going on?" he asked Hanna quizzically.

"We are having a baby!" she said squealing. He looked like he was going to have a heart attack, Hanna could have worded that much differently. She saw him start to freak out on his head and laughed hysterically.

"I don't mean 'we' as in you and me, I mean 'we' as in Ezra and Aria," she said patting his back to remind him to breath.

"How the hell do you get 'we' out of Aria and Ezra? Woman you sure do know how to make a guy piss his pants," Caleb said as he pulled Hanna in for a hug. He smiled at Ezra and Aria over Hanna's shoulder, "Congrats man," he said as he shook Ezra's hand.

* * *

I'm not sure why I'm so nervous about this, I mean, nobody else in this town is as qualified to coach this team as I am. As I walk into the pool area, it brings back so many memories, so many good memories, it also brings back the times when I thought I would never swim again. The team was already in the water. It was almost dark, so practice should be wrapping up soon. When it does end I am just going to introduce myself to the girls and then let them get out of here. We could get into more detail of how I run practice on Monday.

See that would have happened, if I hadn't received a text message that mademy heart literally stop. It wasn't just one text, it was ten texts back to back, no words, just pictures. Just pictures of Ali, she is walking down the street, going into her family's offices, sitting at her dads desk, looking through filling cabinets, and the last picture was Alison tied up in a room, blindfolded and gagged.

I was in shock, I didn't know exactly what I was looking at yet, my head hasn't stopped spinning long enough to comprehend what this means.

That's when I received an actual text message, '**I told you to leave, and never come back... now you get to watch me kill her. You're a good swimmer when you're trying to break records. How good are you when you have to find Alison before the clock stops? - x.o.x.o. A'** I went back to look at the picture of Ali tied to the chair. That's when I noticed it, she had a suicide bomb vest wrapped around her torso.

* * *

**Spencer's POV:**

I'm all for the smart approach, I mean hello I'm Spencer Hastings, but I also believe if you want something done right, then do it yourself. And me, I do snooping right. After letting the whole baby thing slip, I decided I needed to redeem myself, so I figured that while Caleb was hacking into the computer system at Radley, that I would take it upon myself to do it the old fashion way.

I'm pretty sure that nothing about Charles DiLaurentis, will be under that name, but there had to be something around here that would nail him. I mean it's the nut house, they can't lie about everything. I don't know why the others were so afraid to do this, it's not like we haven't snuck in and out of Radley before...

As I'm rifling through paper work in the records room I hear a loud door shut, the only loud door is the main door. I shut my flashlight off really quickly and hid behind the desk. Okay maybe the girls had a point, this was kind of dumb, especially with our luck in this town.

A shadow stopped in front of the door. It was big, had to be a guy. No there was no fucking way A knew I was here, I didn't tell anyone, I never spoke it out loud or in a text, so unless this fucker can read my mind, there is no way he knows I'm here. The door opened slowly and a flashlight scanned the room. The person that was standing in the door way moved slowly around the room, I had not picked a good hiding spot, eventually this intruder would find me... my thought process is interrupted by being yanked up by my arm.

I spun around to punch the person, I couldn't stop myself fast enough as my fist landed squarely against Toby's jaw. It worked though, he did let me go. "What the fuck Spencer?" he asked as he stumbled backwards.

"You should really learn to announce yourself before you go walking into dark rooms," I tell him with my hands on my hips like this was the most normal situation in the world.

"Really? I should learn to announce myself? Spencer I'm a cop! You should learn not to break into insane asylums!" he threw his hands in the air. But he wasn't really mad at me, because he started to laugh.

"Why is this funny?" I asked him very confused at his laughter.

He looked at me from across the room, "You, you are insufferable. You missed a few things in the last few years Spence, like the silent alarm they had installed." He slumped down in one of the chairs situated across the desk, "You are lucky it was me who answered the call, this is why we agreed for Caleb to do it remotely from a computer, so that you don't end up in jail... AGAIN."

"Are you going to arrest me?" I asked him. I honestly didn't know the answer to that question, he had refused to help me, maybe he would arrest me.

"No, we are on the same side, when I got the call I had a feeling I'd find one of you guys in here, I was pretty sure it was you though, you never could leave well enough alone," he stood up and I thought he was going to make me leave, but he just turned on the light. "Which of these have you looked through?"

I was kind of speechless, I didn't expect that. But I pointed out the ones I'd been through. "I don't know what I'm looking for though, I haven't found anything that would be him. No Charles DiLaurentis, not C.D. No nothing."

"What about Charles Hastings?" I froze. No that is just too fucked up to actually be true. But Toby did pull out a very thick folder full of shit. It wasn't labeled Charles Hastings, but it was labeled C.H.

I snatched it out of his hands and opened it up on the desk, the picture in the folder resembled Jason a lot. "Let's get out of here," I say but I feel haunted, I'm not sure that leaving this place was going to help with that feeling at all.

* * *

**Alison POV:**

I can't see anything, I can't hear anything. I don't even know where I'm at. Why is this always happening to me? What the hell did I do to this psycho? I was just a kid, it couldn't have been my fault. I hear a door open but my eyes are covered. I can't see anything.

"Who's there? What do you want?" I could hear the desperate plea in my voice, I didn't mean to sound like that, but this, this is different than anything that I've been through. Not being able to see my attacker is fucking with my head.

"You have been a bad girl," a man's voice broke through the silence.

"Charles?" I knew the answer, but since I couldn't see anything and my hands were tied behind my back, I had nothing but my words. When I wasn't answered I continued, trying to get him to talk to me, "Can I ask you a question? What the hell did I ever do to you? I didn't even know you existed!"

"Did you ever think that maybe that's why I'm doing this? You were the princess! You got everything! When you came along it was like no one else mattered!" he was yelling at me, clearly he wasn't as level headed as we thought. If he is coming unhinged, he might slip up, that's what they say about serial killers, that's why they get caught, because they start loosing control.

"So you strapped a bomb to my chest, because 'mommy' and 'daddy' got excited about a new baby?" I was not going to let this inbred, freak shut me up. I am Alison DiLaurentis, and if I'm going to die, I'm going to bring him as far down as I can.

"Well, they weren't very receptive when I tried to stab you in your sleep," I could hear the disgust dripping from his voice. I don't understand how anyone could get to this point. I've been fucked up before, god knows I have, but this is a whole new level.

"So let me see if I can guess how your life has gone. I wanna see just how right I am," maybe it wasn't the best idea to provoke the unhinged serial killer type, but I didn't have anything to loose, nobody knew I was going to my dads office, nobody knew to expect me home for dinner or something normal like that. "You tried to stab me as a baby, I'm guessing you failed at that too, because here I am. I'm sure mom and dad decided you were to crazy to have near their precious daughter. What they didn't tell you, is dad probably wanted you gone, because you aren't really a DiLaurentis at all," I messed up at some point because he had moved close enough that he grabbed a fistful of hair and jerked me out of my chair.

I felt something cold and sharp against the part of my neck that Charles had completely exposed, "Do it Charles, kill me, I dare you," I hissed at him. He wouldn't win. Emily would be murderous if something happened to me, no one in this town that had ever even heard of Charles DiLaurentis would be safe from her. She covered it up really well, she just wants to be a normal person, but that kind of anger doesn't come from having a normal life.

**Emily's POV:**

I didn't have time to go get the other girls, I did call, let them know the basics of what was going on. A, Alison, bomb, clock. That is pretty much the gist of what's happening. I'm not sure what I am actually going to do though.. I don't know how to disarm a bomb, I don't know the rules for taking a bomb vest off the person, I'm way out of my league.

As I got to the building that was in the middle of town, if he blew Ali up he was going to take innocent people with him. This was insane, but charging in was my best bet, I mean he knew I was coming, he could have made it hard for me, maybe he didn't really wanna kill her, maybe he wasn't that crazy.

There was a basement in the building, that's where they always are in the movies so that's where I'm going. A probably saw me coming a mile away, maybe he was already gone, maybe he just wanted to scare me.

I opened the door to the basement and that's when I saw them. Ali with a bomb, A in all black with a ski mask covering his face, he had a knife to her throat. I was going to kill him, when this was over it was going to be me, he wasn't going to jail, that wasn't enough, it was going to be my hands that choked the life out of him. "Stop!" I yelled at him, that's all I knew to do.

"Look Alison, Emily's here! Now she gets to watch you die," he was pushing his luck, he was pushing my control on my temper.

"Ali, it's okay. I'm here," my hands were out in front of my body, I didn't want him to think I was making any sudden moves, I don't know how I'm going to get us both out of here alive, but I'm going too, I have too.

"Emily get out of here!" she yelled at me. I could hear the fear in her voice, but I don't know if it was fear for her own life, or fear for mine.

"No, she should be here, it's her fault that I had to do this to begin with." Charles turned his body so that Alison could look me in the eyes. "I told her to stay away, she didn't listen."

I saw the confusion in Alison's eyes, but I couldn't explain right now, this was not the time to bring up old memories. "What do you want from me? You told me she was here, if you had wanted to kill her, you wouldn't have given me the chance to save her, so what do you want?" I had to grit my teeth so that he didn't hear the panic in my voice.

"I don't want to kill her, if I kill her, then my game is over. And I just started playing again." he threw Ali into the wall and she screamed as her body slammed into concrete. Her hands still tied behind her back, she couldn't break her fall. "I want her to watch as I destroy each and every one of the people she cares about, because I had to watch everyone I ever cared about, forget me. So I'm going to kill everyone, until nobody knows her name. She will be as alone as I am."

He turned his back on me and he moved towards Alison to pick her up off the ground, taking the few seconds his eyes weren't trained on me, I reached for my waist line and pulled out the gun. I've never seen the kind of fear in Ali's eyes that I see right now, I've never used a gun, I never even thought I would need too. But now, I don't see an other way out of this.

I squeezed the trigger, I didn't realize that I had shut my eyes too. The shot was deafening, especially in an enclosed space. I knew I had hit him, because he screamed out and dropped to the floor. I didn't have time to make sure he was dead, all I could think about was getting Ali.

I ran over to her and hauled her up by her arm, I didn't have time to be nice about it, I didn't know how long he would be down. My foot kicked something across the room, and all I saw was a red button... that is probably important. "Go Ali, just go," I pushed her towards the door. She was trying to get the vest off but we didn't have time for that.

As I passed the detonator on the floor I swept it up in my left hand. Holding the gun in my right just in case he got up. As we ran out of the building I heard Alison crying and struggling with the vest. "Alison stop! If you take it off, it might explode. Let's just get back home. Let the brain trusts figure out how to disarm a bomb."


	5. My Life

**Alison's POV:**

I don't know how to describe the feeling I have right now. One, people normally don't survive bombs, especially with the bomb still trapping them inside their own skin, brothers don't normally try to kill their little sisters, and the love of my life doesn't normally shoot people. So it's been an abnormal day for me, I deserve to freak the fuck out right now.

As we sped off down the road in Emily's car, I could see the worry all over her face. As much as Emily might hate Charles, the fact that sweet, kind, loyal Emily could have shot and killed a man, it's probably not registering in her head correctly.

"Emily? Em?Emily fucking Fields!" I screamed after saying her name a few times. She looked over at me wild eyed and kind of confused. But she was about to miss the house if she stayed stuck in her little day dream. She then suddenly pulled the car over, randomly and she just stared at me. We didn't move, and didn't try to inch closer. We just starred into each others eyes. My blue eyes, met warm brown eyes. I understand that she just needed to know that she wasn't alone, that I was there, that I was okay.

I needed to know that she was there, that she was okay. I had heard a lot of things in that basement... things that didn't make since, things that I didn't have the energy to try to understand right now. What I needed was just to be in this moment with her, no matter what the cost to my heart, no matter what the cost to my armor, I needed to know that at least for now, I had her.

As she got lost swimming in my eyes, like she always does, I was looking her over. Trying to make sure nothing was wrong with her. The only thing I could see was worry etched on her face. Her forehead was scrunched, her eyebrows were furrowed, and there was a pain in her eyes that I feel like could haunt me forever.

"Ali," she squeaked that out, I don't think she meant to sound that shaky, but hell if I tried to speak right now, I would probably sound worse. She leaned in to wrap her arms around me, but I jumped back, "bomb!" I yelled at her. I don't know anything about bombs, but I was pretty sure putting pressure on it wasn't the smartest thing, even if I was desperate to have her arms engulf me in the safety that is, Emily Fields.

"I'm okay Emily, your okay. We are fine," I tried to reassure her, it didn't look like it was working though. "You found me, you saved me, you always do."

She hung her head down, "it's my fault this happened. I didn't listen to him," she said and her voice sounded haunted now.

"Emily this is not your fault. No matter what he says to you, he is deranged," I said to her, but I really wanted to know what she had meant.

"I should have stayed away, if I had stayed away, you would be safe right now, you wouldn't have a... you wouldn't be in this position," she grabbed my hand and squeezed it softly.

"No I wouldn't. None of us will be safe, not until he is put down, like the rabid dog he is," I could feel some of the old Alison creeping in. The harsh, unforgiving, monster that I used to be. I hated that person, but I was starting to think she was the person that was going to survive this attack.

Once I said that I could see the fear, the fear of killing someone that flashed across her eyes, "Emily, I'd love to talk to you, but maybe we could do that after someone takes this stupid thing off of me."

Once we finally reach the house, and are safely inside, the whole living room kind of stares blankly at us. The girls take steps forward but then it's like they all decide not to move, in case one step could set it off. The guys are just kind of standing there, not sure what we expect them to do about this situation.

"Don't just stand there, help her!" Emily yells at them.

"Emily what do you expect us to do?" Caleb steps closer to me to inspect the bomb. He doesn't know anything about bombs, neither does Toby.

"Save her, that's what I expect. Get on the internet, find something to help her," she screamed at them. Hanna came forward,, "Emily calm down, we are going to save her.," she turned to me and gives me a half smile, "We are going to save you Ali."

Caleb was looking at his phone intensely, "No way, it has to be harder than this, I mean the movies make it look harder."

"Movies lie," Aria said to him, taking the phone out of his hand. "Okay so this says, that 99% of bombs can be diffused if you rip the wires out... don't cut them, but pull them out."

"99%? What about the other 1%?" I asked her. With our luck, this bomb is the 1% and it is going to kill us all. "Well none of us are bomb experts, and if going to the police is not an option than we just have to pray," Caleb said.

"We can't go to the police, we have only been in town like four days, and we already have bombs strapped to us... that will bring attention to us that we don't need," Spencer, always the logical one, thinking three moves ahead.

"Just do it," I tell Caleb. Emily moves closer to my and slides her hand into mine. She has a vice grip. "You guys need to get out of here, just in case this is the 1%" but Emily doesn't move, and neither do any of the others.

"I'm not leaving you, not again, not like this," Emily says.

"It's not leaving Em, it's saving yourself, it's okay to save yourself," I can't let her die with me, she has to live, or this will have been for nothing, and A wins.

She doesn't budge, so I roll my eyes, "get it over with," and Caleb starts pulling wires out of the puddy cement that they are stuck in. He counts down each one, "Okay we don't need suspense commentary, thank you. It's scary enough."

When they are all out everyone lets out the breath they had been holding... except Caleb who is inspecting the bomb. He laughs, what the fuck is he laughing at, this is a fucking bomb, and he is laughing.

"Babe? Are you going crazy? I think we broke him you guys," Hanna looks a little worries as Caleb just laughs harder. He doesn't seem to stop, so Toby walks over to Caleb and the vest. After a few seconds of looking at it, he lets a smile creep over his face.

"Okay, what the hell is it?" I ask them both. I almost died, it's not funny.

"It's fake..." Caleb says as he just gracefully falls to the floor, trying to suppress his laughter.

"What?" Emily asks as she separates from me and get's closer to the vest. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Now we all want to make sure, like three peoples opinion wasn't good enough.

"That bitch," I said as I kicked the vest into the wall. I didn't think it was possible to be this mad. What the hell kind of game is he playing at right now?

"I shot him... over a fake bomb," it was so low I thought nobody would hear her, but Spencer did.

**Emily's POV:**

I shot him, I actually shot somebody... all for nothing. Well I mean I guess it wasn't for nothing, he did kidnap Ali, but still, who the fuck makes a fake bomb? I don't really know what I'm feeling, I'm a little worried that could shoot somebody without flinching, but at least I felt bad for it... a little.

"Whoa, you shot him?" I guess Spencer finally made since of what she heard. I placed the gun on the end table in front of me, answering her question.

"Yeah I shot him, I don't know if he is okay, I kind of closed me eyes," I tell them. They are all looking at me like I have two heads or something, "I would do it again-" but I was interrupted by Ali.

"Wait you closed your eyes? You could have shot me instead!" this was hardly the time for her to be worried about herself though so I ignored her.

"I don't care how long it takes, or if we have to miss an opportunity along the way, I'm going to be the one that ends him, I'm tired of this crap, I'm tired of Alison being hurt, I'm tired of being blackmailed, I will strangle him with my bare fucking hands if I have too," I know they all think I'm crazy, or turning into a killer, but I don't care. I finally had everything I ever wanted, and with one text message A took that all away from me, I'm not going through that again. None of us should have too.

"I mean really Aria, how do you think this wedding is going to go? You think he isn't going to interfere some how? Or this baby? Do you really think that your going to be able to give birth, and not worry that this psycho is gonna steal it or something?" I'm ranting, I know my mind is going to a dark place, but the son of a bitch faked a bomb, what if the next time it's real, and we don't take it seriously. He is fucking with our lives.

"Okay killer," Hanna said putting a hand on my shoulder, "calm down. Nobody is killing anybody, or stealing babies right now." She walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of tequila, "Is tequila the only alcohol in this house Ali?"

"It's the only alcohol worth drinking in this house," she said with a smile. I don't know how they are all so fine with everything, like we didn't just almost loose Alison, or that I'm possibly a murderer now.

"Caleb did you get anything out of Radley's computer system?" I ask changing the subject to something that might distract my mind right now.

Before Caleb could say anything Spencer cut him off, "Speaking of, I kind of broke in anyway,"and Toby giggled under his breath, "and she got caught, just like we all said she would," he finished for her. "She should just be glad it was me who caught her."

Hanna hit her in the back of the head, "dumb ass," was all she said.

Caleb chuckled a little, "Well, we couldn't find anything on Charles DiLaurentis-" he was cut off by Spencer, damn she is so impatient.

"That's because his name is C.H in all of the hard copy files they had," she held up the manilla folder with all the information she and Toby had taken with them.

"If she would have let me finish, I tried that name too, and it did pop up, but it was like they were intentionally leaving him out of the system. It has the day he was admitted and the day he was transferred, nothing else.

"When was he transferred?" I ask Caleb, not sure what that will help, but at least it's information.

"October 25th, 2007," but as soon as he said it Toby sunk into the couch. The color had gone from his face, and he was holding his stomach like he was going to be sick.

Spencer wiped her head around to check on Toby, "That the day after..." she didn't finish her statement because she started flipping through the folder she had on the coffee table.

"Does somebody wanna fill the rest of us in?" Hanna said with a hint of annoyance in her voice. We were all thinking it, but I didn't want to say anything, Toby was my friend first, and it hurt to see him like this.

"That's the day after my mother died," he said softly and we all kind of took a deep breath in, "Spencer... your not saying, please tell me your not saying that he did it. That he was the patient that your dad told me about."

Spencer didn't seem to have the words to speak anymore, she looked as much betrayed as Toby did hurt. "Where was he transferred?" Spencer asked, she couldn't comment on Toby's question, and I knew she wouldn't jump to conclusions without more information.

**Spencer's POV:**

Okay first of all, one secret brother was enough for me to handle, now I have two, and the second one is a full on lunatic. I wonder if he knows that Ali's not his only sister? On top of that, my dad covered up a murder to protect his deranged son... my boyfriends mother's murder to be exact. How fucked up can one family get?

Caleb didn't know where he had been transferred and skimming these pages I couldn't tell either. My dad and Mrs. DiLaurentis covered this up really well. "Toby I promise we will get him, he will pay."

"I'm gonna be sick, I have to go, I'm supposed to be on duty," he said, probably just making an excuse to get out of this house and be alone.

As Toby walked out nobody tried to stop him, I wanted too, but I didn't know what to say. I snatched the tequila out of Hanna's hand and turned the bottle up, not bothering to use a glass. "He already has us on the defensive with this bomb shit, how are we going to attack him. This is an offensive strike people," she said as she took another swig of the alcohol.

"I already took my strike, it's someone else turn now," Emily said taking the bottle from my outstretched hand.

"How is he watching us? How does he know our every move?" Caleb posed the quest, I assume it's rhetorical, using the Socratic Method to come up with a plan.

"He has cameras, he probably has our phones bugged," Ali answered this time, "the cameras explain how he knew where I was, because I didn't tell anybody where I was going."

"So let's get some cameras, lets bug his phone," Caleb said excitedly.

"We don't know where he lives, what he looks like, cameras won't help when we don't know who we are looking for, and we never know where he is to bug his phone, or if he is using a phone at all" Emily said as she took another swig of tequila and passed it to Ali, who declined... that's weird, she's been drinking non-stop since she got here, why would she not want alcohol after what she went through.

"You shot him right? You know it hit him?" I ask Emily, thinking I might have an idea forming in my head. "He is going to need a doctor, I mean when you get shot, going to a doctor is most peoples reaction."

"Most people maybe, but apparently our brother is not most people!" Ali said, "because most people don't run cars through peoples living rooms, or frame innocent people for murder, or make fake bombs, or play games like a little high school girl," her voice was rising, she was getting angry.

"He can't stitch up a gun shot wound by himself though," I said to trying to reason with them.

"Who says he is by himself, he has had little helpers before, who said he hasn't recruited the next fucking generation of psychos?" Hanna taking the bottle from Emily and turning it bottoms up.

Ezra has been quiet through everything. Taking it in, he is the writer, he should be the creative one, but he is just being silent, "I'll call the hospital, maybe he went there, if not, then we know he has help."

**Emily's POV:**

After trying and failing to find A dead or dying at a hospital somewhere, I finally resign to going to bed, it's been a long day. As I'm walking to the guest bedroom I get yanked sideways into Ali's bedroom. "What the fu-" but I noticed his, and I noticed all the lights are on. She must be scared.

"Em..." she just looks at me and I can see the vulnerability in her eyes, "will you stay in here with me? I feel like I still have that bomb on me."

My heart breaks for her, I hate seeing her threatened like she was today. I hate that our lives turned out like this, I hate that I told her if she came home that I would keep her safe and then broke that promise every chance I got. "I won't let anything happen to you Ali," I lifter her chin so that she was looking me in the eyes. I didn't realize how close I had gotten to her. But I could feel her breath on my skin, and my head was swimming in thoughts of kissing her, in thoughts of fucking her, in the thought of loving her.

She clearly wasn't as lost on my eyes as I was in hers, "What was he talking about Emily? When he said it was your fault because you came back," I knew she was going to ask at some point, and I guess there was no point in hiding it anymore, I was back, and we were busted.

"That night, the night we... made love, well afterward we fell right asleep. I didn't look at my phone until the next morning, but when when I did A had sent me a text message. He said that if I didn't leave you, that he would kill you... I tried not too, I tried to just stay away from you, hope to fool him for a while, but he kept sending me pictures, he was following you, he sent me a picture of his shadow standing over you with a knife at your throat while you were sleeping. I couldn't take the risk Ali, as much as I loved you, as much as I wanted to be with you, I couldn't risk your life for my happiness." I had never told anyone that, I just got in my car and left the day after he sent me that picture, no goodbyes or anything.

"Loved? Wanted?" her voice cracked. "Do you not feel that way now?" she asked me in a low voice. My heart ached for her, yes I still loved her, what kind of question was that, I shot a man for her.

"Alison... you have no idea how much it is killing me, to not touch you every time I walk by, to not kiss you right now. To not make it my job to tell you every second of ever day how much I've loved you from the moment I met you," there tears rolling down my cheek, silent tears.

"Then do it, say it," she begged in a low voice, it sounded full of desire.

"I can't," I choked out, as the tears started to wrack my body, "What if something happens, it'll be my fault," she sunk down onto her bed and I kneeled in front of her kissing her hands. "I love you Alison DiLaurentis, with every fiber of me being, with every piece of my hear, I love you... but I will not put my love, over your life. If I have to watch you move on, and be happy, then so be it, because at least you will be alive, at least I will hear you laugh, at least you will have children and a life."

I expected her to argue, I expected her to slap me, or throw things, I did not expect her to grab my face and kiss me. As much as I wanted to protect her, once our lips touched, I couldn't stop. It was slow and gentle. There was so much emotion behind this one kiss it made me wet almost instantly. She moaned into my mouth and inched her body closer to mine.

Our kiss was still slow as she dragged her teeth across my bottom lip, and then flicked her tongue along my upper lip begging for entrance. I've never kissed this slow for this long, but it was the best kiss I'd ever had. Our tongues slow danced around each other. She had snaked her hands into my hair and was not letting my pull away, not that I would have. As we deepened our kiss, getting a little faster she wrapped her lets around my torso and started rocking her hips against mine. I moaned into her mouth and she just kept going.

With the jeans on, I knew she had to be getting herself off with the way she got faster and faster and kept moaning into the kiss, and she would tighten her grip on my hair. She pulled my hair back exposing the skin on my neck and bit down sucking on my collar bone. She dragged her teeth across my skin after she left her mark. "Baby.. fuck Emily" I was loosing track of where I was, of the point I was trying to make earlier, before this started. She knew that she was going to have that effect on me... she is smart, I'll give her that.

I pushed her back onto the bed, "Please Ali, don't make this harder than it is."

"You are the one making it harder than it is Em. I will not move on, I will never have kids, it's been four years and I have yet to be in a single relationship, does that sound like I have moved on at all, even a little? Stop fighting this, he is trying to kill us anyway, and he will still try, even if we aren't together," she tells me as she pulls me down on top of her. She has a death grip on the collar of my shirt so I can't escape her.

"Fuck me Emily Fields, fuck me like it's our last chance, because tomorrow we might be dead. I want to feel what it's like to have you inside of me, I want to taste you, I want to kiss you whenever I feel like it, I want to be with you Emily Fields. I am Alison DiLaurentis, and you are not going to say no to me," she finished her little tyraid, and I know it was true. I wasn't going to say no to her, and I couldn't stop myself from ripping off her jeans.

I didn't even bother with anything else, that kiss, was foreplay enough for me, it had been four years since I wanted anybody this bad, and I needed it, I needed her. I moved my fingers in circles around her clit to lubricate my fingers in all of her wetness. I whimpered a little because I could smell sex, and I knew she tasted so fucking good. I slid two fingers in and started thrusting in and out of her. I couldn't contain it, this was not slow, this was not love making, and I didn't want it to be. I wanted to dominate her, I wanted her to scream, I just want her.

"Fuck me, fuck, fuck," she just kept repeating it over and over as I slammed my now three fingers into her pussy like my life depended on it. I was curling my fingers inside her now, hitting her g-spot over and over. She sounded like a goddess, moaning in between calling out for God, and for me.

"Emily fuck... oh-oh god Emily,"and I felt her body shudder and slump down into the bed. I let my body fall on top of her, both of us breathing heavily, as I kissed her neck and licked her ear.

"This is my life Emily, and I choose to spend it with you, if that gets me killed, so be it. At least I've known love, at least I'll get to die knowing that the most amazing person I have ever met, saw through my bullshit, and my lies, and loved me for the person she saw under all of that."


	6. You Are My Heart

_**Okay so most of you are going to hate me for how this first part of the chapter starts. Please don't hang the nous just yet though. By the end of this chapter there will be a budding new Emison relationship.**_

_**Review please, and I want to thank Drea82581 for her amazing review and great ideas.**_

**Alison POV:**

When I finally woke up the next morning, before my whole world fell apart, I was happy and content. But when I rolled over to look into the eyes of the singularly most terrific woman in the world, she wasn't there, no one was there. I was alone in a bed, that until now, had been a safe and comfortable place, but now it felt like a gaping black hole.

I thought we had made progress last night, I thought I had broken through her fear and her walls, I know she had broken through mine. Maybe I was wrong, I guess I was definitely wrong. But I'm Alison DiLaurentis and I will not brake, not again. She isn't the Emily I used to know, A broke her, something is broken inside of her, and I will not let her brake me the way she is broken.

So I'm going to get up, I'm going to go down stairs because me and Hanna have a a fuck ton of work to do for the wedding, and I may or may not slap Emily Fields in the face... depending on what happens when I see her.

I'm pissed off, but I'm not giving up. You don't give up on the love of your life, there is no power in the universe that is allowed to make you give up on love. And I might not have gotten that in high school, and Emily may not understand that now, but I believe for the both of us, and I'm not finished fighting for our love.

I'm dressed and in an outfit that, after last night, Emily will not be able to ignore. I said I was going to fight, never said I was going to fight fair. When I walked down stairs only Hanna was up. Today we were going to start shopping and putting together the wedding, Hanna was always up super early when it came to work. But she didn't have her work face on, she was wearing a shit eating grin, and her eyes are sparkling. "Well at least I know your not dead," she says to me and I giggle.

"What are you talking about?" I ask her slyly, I can play dumb too, Hanna isn't the only blonde in this group that knows how to do that.

"Well with all of the screaming and banging coming from your room, Caleb was afraid you were being killed," she let an all out smile from ear to ear spread across her face. She was waiting for me to start jumping up and down with happiness, but that wasn't going to happen... not yet. "I had to stop him from going in there."

"You probably should have let him, might have saved me from waking up to an empty bed this morning," I said dryly. Her face fell immediately after I said that.

"No, tell me she didn't," I saw anger flash across her eyes, "that bitch." It was okay though, I have a plan.

"I don't wanna talk about it, not yet, let's just get stared. We have a lot to do," and we did have a lot to do, not to mention, we should probably hire the National Guard as security. She intertwined our arms together and she just smiled at me. I loved this girl, we had our problems, but we are okay now, we are better than okay, she was the only best friend I had, at a time in my life when I felt like I was drowning. She breathed light air back into me, when normal air was crushing me, and I will always be grateful for that.

"Okay well, we should go see Ted, and reserve the church, you're going to need to see the space, and I need to figure out what style of dress is going to fit with the scenery," I could see the wheels in her head start to turn.

"Shouldn't we have Aria's input, where is she?" I ask, because I'm going to need to discuss a color scheme with her. Hanna just laughed, "Hanna it's her wedding, we have to include her."

"Ali, it's me and you, she is going to love it!" She was so full of herself, ever since fashion week last year she has thought she was god sent. Which I mean she was, I never imagined that she would be so good at her job, but she was... we both were.

* * *

**Emily's POV:**

I can't think about this morning, it was amazing last night, but I'm still right, it's to dangerous, she may be ready to throw her life away, but I'm not. I'm not ready to sign her death certificate, I'm not ready to let my love for her back in my heart. It's broken me three times now, what makes her think that the fourth time is the charm? What makes her think that we could actually work?

Anyway it doesn't matter right now, me, Spencer and Aria are at the Brew, trying to have a normal day. I can tell that they want to bury me in questions, I can see it because they are squirming in their seats, but I think they are picking up on the vibe that I just don't have the energy to talk about it. I had to use all of my energy to leave the beautiful, naked blonde this morning.

Spencer though, she just can't help herself, especially after a few cups of coffee, "Emily... what happened?"

"Spencer!" Aria hit her in the arm, that made me laugh. I don't know how any of us managed four years apart.

"I can't Spencer... please just talk about something else," I tell her fighting back tears.

"Okay, we can talk about the fact that Lieutenant Tanner is walking straight for us," she said, her body rigid and her eyes wide.

My heart was literally trying to jump out of my chest and run for this hills, I had shot a man last night, and Tanner seems to always show up to bust our asses. "Yeah she is definitely coming for us," Aria whispers as I see a woman's figure come to a stop in my peripheral vision.

"Well well," she says and I look up at her, I'm in no mood to deal with her today. I set my eyes on hers and stared her down, we are not high school kids anymore, and I will make her pay if she even thinks about looking at any of us the wrong way. "You know it's funny, I heard you girls were back in town... and then three nights later, there are reports of gun shots," she had the biggest grin on her face. We were the ones that got away from her, I'm sure she is just itching to bust us for something.

My eyes dart to meet Spencer's and Aria's with panic. But I pushed it to the back of my mind, I couldn't let Tanner see that. "Are you accusing us of something? We've only been here a few days," I couldn't believe her, even if she was spot on, she had no way to know that.

"I'm not accusing, I just think it's ironic that this town has been quiet ever since you five left, and as soon as the Rosewood It Girls roll back into town, there are gun shots, and I'm sure the dead bodies will start piling up in no time," Tanner was pushing my luck but she put her hands on the table and leaned down, "The first misstep, the first wrong turn, I will be there, and I will bust all of you," she is whispering so quiet it's very intimidating. She clears her throat and turns around to walk away, stopping a few feet from the table she looked over her shoulder, "Have a good day ladies."

"What the hell was that!" Aria's face was frozen with fear and surprise.

"That was her trying to tell us her dick is bigger than ours," my coffee shot out of my nose at that point. I can't stop laughing, none of us can.

"I can't believe you just said that," as I level out on my laughter I wipe my nose off, "I guess it's good we have Toby, huh?" I've been meaning to check in on Spencer about that, it can't be easy, they way they left things, kind of like me and Alison.

Spencer was quiet, "Spence, how are you doing?" I know I didn't wanna talk about me and Ali, but none of us have talked about her and Toby.

She shrugged her shoulders, but when they fell a few inches more, I could see just doing that took all the energy she had been saving up. She's always loved Toby, no they weren't perfect, but who is. Toby had pulled away while all the drama with Ali and the trial, and us being framed, he pulled away but she walked away. It is very ironic that me and Spencer ended up in the same miserable boat, and Hanna and Aria got the guy in the end.

"I don't have the right to be hurt," is all she said, but she did have the right to hurt, she had the right to wanna cry and hit something, when you loose love, everyone has that right. Just because it wasn't right, doesn't mean she didn't love him, she had the right.

"Yes you do. I'm hurt Spencer, my heart brakes every time she looks at me," tears were rolling down my cheeks, I couldn't stop them. I feel Aria's hand on my back as I clench my eyes closed. I clear my throat to continue, because this conversation can't be about me, it just can't, "but you loved that boy with everything you had, just because it wasn't the right time for you both and you're the one that realized it, it doesn't mean that it hurts less."

"It hurts more," she whispered, I'm sure she didn't trust her voice, I sure as hell don't trust mine.

"Okay, you guys, cheer the hell up! Let's go meet the girls at the church, I wanna know what the hell kind of crazy stuff they are cooking up," she wanted to take our minds off of our heart break... but she can't, and me and Spencer will just have to pretend.

We made small talk during the walk to the church, light and funny small talk. By the time we got to the church me and Spencer weren't crying, and our moods had lightened. We needed to tell the girls about Tanner, so they can watch their steps, we are back under the microscope now and that is going to make our shadow war a little bit trickier.

**Hanna POV:**

As I'm standing in the middle of the pews trying to picture what kind of style would work best and I could Alison at her drawing table. When I looked over to the other blond I couldn't help but smile. She was amazing when she worked, she was focused, determined, and pretty much lost in her own world as she drew the layout for the wedding. It's what I imagine watching Picasso paint would have been like, she is a genius when it comes to decorating.

I hate that she is going through this with Emily, but if it came down to it, I would choose Ali, every time. I always thought that if they ever saw each other again they wouldn't be able to help themselves, clearly Alison can't. I don't get Emily though, she was in love with this one girl for years even after she thought she was dead, I don't understand how you turn your back on someone like that, on something like that.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," that breaks me out of my internal rant. Alison was smirking at me, and then she winked.

I threw a pen at her, "Oh my god, yes! We should be taking pictures, of everything!" and I start to take pictures of ever little thing on my phone, "this is going to be the most well documented wedding in history." I make my way over to Alison and snuggle in close so that we can take a picture together. We take a few funny pictures together, and then we settle down for the serious one, I turn and kiss her cheek as I snap the picture.

I hear someone clear their throat and I look up and it's Emily. I try not show my utter disdain for my friend at this moment in time. How dare her leave Ali this morning and then show up today. "What are you doing here?" I ask, that did come out a little harsher than I had planned but whatever, it's a valid question.

"Well this is my wedding isn't it?" Aria stepped out from behind Emily and I squealed with excitement. "You have to see what Ali is doing to this place, it looks AMAZING," I tell her completely ignoring Emily as I drag Aria over to Alison, who I notice is locked in a staring match with Emily. Ali just looked sad, Emily looked... I don't know, hard maybe.

I pulled Alison out of her own head so that she could show Aria what was going on. It was just a rough sketch of course, it's our first day, but Aria seemed to like it enough, as I was listening to her ramble on about what she wanted it finally hit me... the look in Emily's eyes, it was jealousy. But of me? Really? Hello? Sooo not gay.

Then it hit me, like a freight train, Emily is jealous of me, and she knows there is no reason to be, which means she has to be feeling way more than she is letting on. I have a plan, I love it when I have plans. "Okay ladies, so in honor of breaking ground on the wedding, we are all going out tonight! No excuses, it's happening, and it will be fun, or I will personally roofie your drink so you can't say no."

Ali giggled, and we are on the same wave length, that's why I'm so glad we are over our bullshit alpha female stage in the friendship, because we think alike, at least we should, I was groomed to be her at one point.

"Tanner saw us at the Brew today, she is just waiting to bust us Hanna," that came from Emily, always the innocent one, or most of the time anyway.

"Well considering we are all over the legal drinking age, I really don't think she is going to arrest us for going to a bar at Hollis Em, lighten up, not everything we do is a felony," which was kind of true, I mean okay most of the things we do are way too illegal, but this, this we can do. "Besides, we have been normal people for four years, I don't want that to change just because we are home."

"I could use a night out, we all could. Aria your almost a married woman, gotta sow your oats while you still can," Alison didn't look up from her sketch but she didn't have too.

"I could use a drink, or ten," Spencer chimed in and it was settled, four to one, Emily wouldn't go against all of us.

* * *

**Alison's POV:**

This is a first for any of us, none of us have all been out together, legally of course, and it'll be fun. I'll be too drunk to think about Emily, I'll find some random guy, fuck him, and take my mind off the fact that I felt her burning holes into my body the whole time we were at the church.

It's not a club, just a bar, but that's fine, a club would be to hard to talk in, and this night is not just about me finding someone to numb the pain, it's about spending time with the girls, it's about strengthening our bond again, after four years.

"Okay first few rounds are on me," Spencer headed to the bar while we took our seats around an empty table. Hanna sat on Caleb's lap, Aria sat beside them, Ezra went back to Philly this morning to get some things from their house. Emily left a seat between us for Spencer, god she couldn't even stand to sit next to me. I know I'm a good lay, I don't get what her damn problem is.

Spencer got back with the first 3 rounds of shots. "Okay so let's play a game," she waited for all of us to agree.

"I'm down. How about never have I ever, that's a tradition we haven't upheld in a while," I couldn't help but smile, it was one of the last memories I have on the night I had to leave town.

"I'll go first," Hanna has gotten really good at this game over the years, we used to play it at NYU. "Never have I ever... been arrested," and there was rucuss of 'no' and 'aww'. We all took a shot.

"Never have I ever... framed someone, or wanted to frame someone," Spencer asked that question, and it would have been no problem except I saw the way Emily froze at the question. I have to remember to ask her about that, I mean, we've all done it, but why did she freak out. We all drank again, at this rate we are all gonna be drunk off our asses.

AN HOUR OR SO LATER...

After the game ended we all settled into comfortable conversation, still catching each other up on four years of being absent from each others lives. No matter how sad or angry I was, this was the best feeling in the world, being back here with the best group of people anyone could ask for. I needed another drink though, it felt like I was gliding over the floor, I love alcohol, so I glided over to the bar. Waiting on the bartender to finish with his other customer I just bobbed my head along with the song that was playing in the background when I became aware of a very beautiful man standing next to me.

I looked at him and gave him my signature smile, nobody can resist the Alison DiLaurentis smile... almost nobody. "Hey buddy, can we get some service down here," this dark headed guy said and he turned his big blue eyes to look at me, "I'm Nathan," he just had a huge grin on his face. It was kind of adorable, but that could also be the copious amounts of alcohol talking.

"I'm Alison," I held my hand out to shake his and he took it, but didn't shake my hand, instead he lifted it to his mouth and kissed the back of it. Who the hell does this guy think he is?

When the bartender made it over to us Nathan ordered a beer and a sex on the beach. Which okay was kind of girlie, maybe he was here with someone, or a closet homo. When the bartender made the two drinks Nathan slid the sex on the beach over to me, "Don't say I never gave you anything."

**Emily's POV:**

I tried, I really have tried not to stare at Ali the whole night, I know I have no right, but I can't protect her, if I'm not watching her all the time. She should understand where I'm coming from, she's the one who said you can't focus if your busy kissing someone. But at this moment, she is at the bar talking to some guy, and the smile she is giving him... makes me want to bash his face in.

"Emily, Emily, hey Fields!" Hanna is shouting at me.

"What Hanna? I can hear you!" I yell back.

"Stop it, whatever you think your about to do, don't," she had her serious look on, "you know Emily, you don't get to do this to her. You don't get to have sex with her, sleep over, and then disappear in the morning like nothing happened."

"Hanna are you forgetting how much you hated her for what she did to me?" I can't believe how fast she switches sides.

"No I'm not. But when she came back to Rosewood, she tried to make it right, and then we all turned on her, and then you left her, and when you come back you just keep stabbing her in the heart. You have to make up your mind Emily. You can't have it both ways. Eventually she will move on out of necessity, you can either grow some balls, or let her be." that's when Caleb chimed in to try to diffuse the situation.

"She's right Em, you have to choose. For what it's worth, I don't think you're gonna be able to watch her move on, you two love each other, stop fighting it." Aria always believing in love that is doomed... but maybe it doesn't have to be, I mean her and Ezra are getting married.

I grabbed Hanna's last shot and threw it back. "Bottoms up," Spencer said slyly.

I don't know what I'm going to do, but I have to do something. I feel my body tense up as I come to a stop right beside Ali. She looks at me and I can see the horrified look in her eyes. But I'm not here to talk to her, not yet. I just look at this guy in the eyes, we have all been in enough scary situations, I know how to do the intimidating now. For a few seconds I didn't think he was going to back down, but he finally does. I can see his body shift slightly and I knew it had worked.

"Well Alison, when you loose your pit bull, come find me," and he turned around to walk away.

I was feeling really triumphant, until I felt a painful sting spread across my face, "Ow," but then she pushed my shoulders so I stumbled backwards a little. I'm not very graceful when I'm drunk.

"Alison wait," I tried to grab her hand before she walked out of the bar but I missed, my hand eye coordination is a little off. So I stumble after her trying my best to be graceful about it. "Ali stop," when we are outside of the bar she slows down and whirls around, I assume to slap me... again.

"Where the hell do you get off-" I stop her because it's my turn to talk. She talked last night, now I need to.

"I need to apologize," I say and she laughs at me, shes laughing, what the fuck.

"You should buy them in bulk if your going to hand them out this much," she says and I don't see love anymore, I see anger, I see pain.

"Look can we just let it go for a second, I just-I'm not good at this okay. Me and you, we are never in the same place, we are never right for each other in the moment. You gotta give me some room to fuck up here," it's true, whenever I'm ready, shes not, whenever she is ready I pull away. It's all messed up.

"You have fucked up Emily, you've fucked up a few times, how many chances do you get?" and that pissed my drunk ass off.

"You have fucked up too Alison! You don't get to blame this all on me. Our insecurities for each other are not all my fault!" how dare she decide that it's just me, did everybody forget our past?

"No they aren't, I've messed up, but it's been four years, I've also grown up. I know what I want. I know I want you. It's always been you. You're the one that hasn't figured out that it's always going to be me, and when you finally do, I might not be here waiting!" Alison is crying, I wish she wasn't, when she cries it makes my hole world grey and scary.

"I'm trying to tell you! I figured it out, okay. I made up my mind," I'm trying to beg her with my eyes.

"Maybe you should have figured that out last night! Before you let me wake up alone this morning!" she was always the one to hold grudges. "I keep putting myself out there with you, and you keep blowing it! Which is probably a good thing because at this point there is nothing you could do that's going to surprise me!"

I couldn't stop myself, I see where this is going, and ends with her storming off. I have to do something to keep her here, so I kissed her. I grabbed her shoulders tightly and pulled her into me. The kiss was hard and fast, and full of drunk sloppy passion, but it was real. It carried my pain, my fear, my love, my devotion. It carried all the emotions that were battling inside me.

She put pressure on my shoulders and I stepped back from our kiss. "You can't... please don't do this unless you mean it. Don't do this unless you feel what I'm feeling right now."

"I feel it, okay. I feel it Alison. I've felt it everyday. And everyday we have been apart for the last four years I've felt the void where you used to be. I tried to fill it, I filled it with friends and work, and last night it finally felt like I was whole again, like a piece of my soul finally fell back into my heart," I need her to believe me, I can't, I thought I could but I can't let her move on.

I bring her hand to rest on my heart, so she can feel it beating hard and fast, "I can feel my heart again, Ali. It's you, it's always been you, you're my heart."

She was staring into my eyes, and I know now, I never want her to stop. The darkness doesn't have any answers, and I have to stop torturing myself, what was done is done, and now we can make a fresh start.


	7. Beautiful Mind

_**Previously on Pretty Little Liars:**_

_**She put pressure on my shoulders and I stepped back from our kiss. "You can't... please don't do this unless you mean it. Don't do this unless you feel what I'm feeling right now."**_

"_**I feel it, okay. I feel it Alison. I've felt it everyday. And everyday we have been apart for the last four years I've felt the void where you used to be. I tried to fill it, I filled it with friends and work, and last night it finally felt like I was whole again, like a piece of my soul finally fell back into my heart," I need her to believe me, I can't, I thought I could but I can't let her move on.**_

_**I bring her hand to rest on my heart, so she can feel it beating hard and fast, "I can feel my heart again, Ali. It's you, it's always been you, you're my heart." **_

_**She was staring into my eyes, and I know now, I never want her to stop. The darkness doesn't have any answers, and I have to stop torturing myself, what was done is done, and now we can make a fresh start.**_

_**I didn't know we had an audience until Hanna's voice broke me out of my descent into Alison's soul filled eyes. "And they say me and Caleb make them sick... at least we don't go around proclaiming our eternal love every time we see each other."**_

**Alison's POV:**

_**"The Best of Intentions" - Travis Tritt_

_No matter how much I do wrong  
That I had the best of intentions all along  
I gave you a ring  
And I promised you things  
I always thought we'd do  
But my best-laid plans  
Slipped right through my hands  
To show my love for you  
And if you could read my heart  
Then you'd know without exception  
It was all with the best of intentions _

Emily laid a lot on me earlier at the bar. I don't know where any of that came from, but I can't ignore it. If I reject her because of my pride then what is that really doing for either of us? Prolonging our pain? Maybe hope doesn't have to breed eternal misery... that would be a new twist with our luck, but it could happen, we could have a happy ending.

I left, I just walked off after our whole love declaration business, I couldn't deal. That was a lot to put on somebody that was very drunk. I came home, I didn't know where else to go, I didn't want to give Tanner a reason to arrest me for public intoxication or something. So I just came home and went to my room.

I'm so used to having the girls here, to be alone in this house is very weird. I can hear the wind blowing outside the window, the only light in the house that is on is a little lamp on my bedside table. I thought I was alone, but I hear the front door open and shut, I figured it would be Hanna coming to check on me, but when I heard the voice saying my name my heart stopped beating for a second.

I had been sitting on my bed with my knees pulled up to my chest and had my head buried between my knees. But when I heard her voice I looked up, I'm sure my eyes were wide eyed like a babies. You know the feeling, it feels like your heart is crying. Like it's being squeezed. It's not a bad pain either, it almost feels like your soul just needs to cry sometimes. That's what my heart feels like when I see her red eyes in my door way.

"Can I come in?" she sounded like she cried the whole way over here.

All I can do is shake my head. She moves over to my bed and sits down at the foot, giving me space, but it feels like she is thousands of miles away. It feels like we are both magnets and I'm fighting the magnetic pull that is tearing my cells apart. "Ali?" she is whispering and it makes the whole thing more intimate than it already is.

I crawl down the bed to be closer to her. I snuggle my body right beside hers and I hear her breath hitch. We sit there for a long time just listening to each other breathe. Staring into each others eyes. She cups my cheek in her hand, she doesn't try to kiss me, we just sit there in blissfully painful silence. I don't think I've ever communicated with anyone this way.

Gravity feels heavy with all the emotion in the air, "Emily... you can't leave okay? I can't handle that again," I break what feels like hours of silence and she dips her head down to just rub our cheeks against each other. This is the most emotion I've ever felt in my whole life.

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere, not again. I thought I could do it, I thought I could watch you move on, but I am deeply in love with you... you change the way I see the world," she is still whispering. Our faces are so close I can feel the heat from her and she won't let me look away from her eyes, "When your around, grass is greener, the sky is bluer. When I look into your eyes I can see the molecules in the air, this is supposed to be, and I will love you with every breath I breathe for the rest of my life."

She places butterfly kisses on my lips, and I know I want her touching me forever, but I don't have the energy for forever to start tonight. I just want her to hold me, I just want one night, to make sure that when I wake up she will be beside me.

Once I knew Emily was asleep, I just laid beside her watching her breathe evenly. She was amazing, she makes me a better person... and my mind raced back to the first time I actually knew I loved her. In the library, when she was so optimistic about Jenna being fine, and all of us being forgiven, "I love you against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be... I always have," and I pressed my lips against her forehead as I snuggled into her arms. As I drift off to sleep, I feel complete, I feel safe, I feel like my soul has been healed after so many years of being broken.

**Emily's POV:**

I slept perfectly last night, but I made it a point to wake up earlier than she did so that I could be by her side, staring at her when she finally opened those beautiful blue eyes of hers. When I woke up it took a few seconds for me to figure out that last night wasn't all a dream. I reach over to check my phone to make sure the girls weren't freaking out. I had a few messages, two from each member of this little group, and one that made my heart explode while reading it. _WWAD(What Would Alison Do?) if she knew you wanted to frame her?_ You know I had feared this secret coming out back when it first happened, she definitely wouldn't have forgiven us so easily for that, I guess not us, just me. But now, four years later, I don't know what she would do. I guess I really don't know this girl at all anymore. When she left Rosewood in high school she was Queen Bee, when she came back she was a scared little girl wrapped in a queen's body. When she got out of jail, she was just trying to put as much distance between this town and it's heartbreaks between her as she could, now that she's back... I don't know her at all. I missed a huge chunk of her life, we've all missed huge chunks of each others lives.

She started to stir beside me, so I quickly locked my phone and put it back on the night stand. I wrapped the blonde in my arms completely pulling her out of her dreams. As she looked up and a small smile spread across her gorgeous face, I knew I wanted to make her smile like that every morning for the rest of my life, "Your still here," they were simple words, but they meant the world to her, and that's all that matters now, making her world a better place.

I leaned down and rubbed my nose against her, "I'm still here baby," and she scrunched her nose up and giggled.

"Mmmm say that again," she said as she rolled over on top of me. Her smile was a full blown grin now, "I'm here. Baby I'm not going anywhere, I promise," as I grab her bottom lip with my teeth. I could get used to having Alison DiLaurentis on top of me.

We are interrupted by Hanna, who didn't knock, didn't even bother to take in her surroundings as she walked into the room, "Okay so Spencer went all Beautiful Mind last night on your living room wall..." she kind of tapered off her rant as she finally realized that Alison was not alone in here. "Damn... sorry," she said as she held her hands over her eyes.

"We are clothed Hanna, you don't have to cover your eyes," I said rolling mine as Alison sat up, straddling me now, and my body ached for the contact we had seconds ago.

"Emily your like a deer, I'm afraid if we move to fast, or step on a stick you'll bolt," Hanna was being snarky, I know she was mad at me for the way I treated Ali, but that's over now, when is she going to let me off the hook?

Alison was glaring at the other blonde, "Knock it off Hanna," as she threw a pillow and hit Hanna in the head.

"Hey!" and she throws it back, but Alison ducked and the pillow hit me square in the face. The two other girls in the room busted out laughing, as I was trapped under Alison and couldn't retaliate. "Anyway, you should go down there, I think she is loosing her marbles." With that Hanna turned around and flitted out of the room to be swooped up into the arms of Caleb and I could here them laughing all the way down the hall.

Alison turned her attention back on me, "I guess we should go check on the circus down stairs," and she tries to get up, but I have my hands firmly on her hips, not letting her go anywhere.

"Oooor, we could stay up here, and let the whole world fall away," I didn't want to get up, if I get up then the real world can creep in, then I will have to deal with the text message I got last night.

"I would love that, but, we came home for a reason, and it wasn't to let Spencer start using my living room walls as a coloring book," with that she leaned down and pressed her lips to mine. It was small kiss, like we would do it everyday for the rest of our lives, like it was the most normal thing in the world to her. And that was an amazing feeling to me.

As she walked to the door I just watched her, she was mesmerizing, and I forgot how to use my legs for a second, "Are you coming?" she asked me, pulling me out of my own head. I stood up and ran to her, fitting my arm behind her knees as I lifted her up into my arms and twirled her around, "I love you," and I kissed her, the same way she had kissed me, easy and soft, loving. I carried her like that down the stairs and into the staring eyes of all of our friends. I looked at Hanna, "I'm not a deer, and I'm not going anywhere," I knew I had to win two peoples trust now, Alison and Hanna... who would have thought Hanna's would be the difficult task.

Spencer's POV:

I know they think I'm crazy, hell I think I'm crazy sometimes... but this is the best way I could think to do it. The whiteboards we bought weren't big enough, and I needed room, so the wall seemed to be the right size. I had spent all night pinning pictures of our past in chronological order hoping to find something we missed before.

I've pinned pictures to the wall, I've drawn lines to connect them, and little notes... Alison is going to kill me, but it had to be done. I hear them talking, but it's just background noise as I stare at my masterpiece of a wall mural.

They don't know what's been going on with me during the past four years, they all got to go to normal schools, and have parties, and be normal people. While I went to Oxford, which is like the international Harvard equivalent... I didn't have enough to time in the day for my class work let alone to have a social life. I needed a pick me up... now I'm having the problem I always have, putting it down. I've gotten better at hiding it obviously, because the girls haven't noticed anything, until now, they might notice now.

I feel Emily's hand on my shoulder and she pulls me out of my thinking process. "Spencer? What are you doing?"

"Going bonkers!" that came from Hanna but I ignored her. I didn't have time, none of us did. If I didn't focus all my attention on this one aspect of being home, I will have to face the other part of being home, and I can't do that. Toby would be proud of my serial killer wall...

"Have you guys ever seen Scandal?" I ask, hoping one of them has and would get what I was doing.

Emily walked closer to my wall, she was silent as she studied my thought process. Okay, maybe my thought process is a little jumbled right now, but if they helped me it would get better. "I've seen it Spence... but we aren't Olivia Pope."

"But aren't we? I mean sure at first we were trying to clean up the mess Ally made. We were fixers. But now we are dealing with a psychotic family member who kills without remorse... that's just like Pope's dad and B-613," I've watched that show a lot, sue me, it's a guilty pleasure.

"Okay so you want to work this like she would work a case? I get that, but the problem is we don't even know where to start. We don't know what he looks like, we don't know where he is, we don't know anything," Emily hadn't been up for days thinking about it, she hasn't had as long to process this wall as I have.

"We have a picture of him as a kid, Caleb could use some computer software to estimate what he would look like twenty-two years later, you shot him, he would have bled so we have his blood. We have the compound he kept us at, we have enough to start," well we almost had all that.

"No the police have all of that. Tanner knew about the shooting, they have probably scrubbed that place clean, and we can't risk returning to the scene of the crime, not with her watching us like this. We are adults now, we will get charged as adults, it's more dangerous for us now," Emily was worrying about loosing Alison, but none of us can afford to make this personal right now.

"So, we have a cop in our back pocket, what the police have essentially we can get it," I know Toby might not do this if I ask him, but Emily could ask, and he would do anything for her. I can't believe Charles killed his mom, how is he ever going to be able to look at me the same way again... I haven't seen him since he found that out, but I can't think about him right now, I can't let him in my head, because there is no room in my head for Charles and Toby, not with the rate my brain is thinking right now, I'd loose concentration.

"Spencer, Toby wouldn't choose us over the force four years ago when he was in love with you, what makes you think he is going to throw it all away now?" that wasn't Emily, that was Alison. Of course it was Alison, of course she would point out that Toby didn't care enough then. When Emily wraps her arms around Alison's waist, I see the blonde relax a little. I miss that, I miss being safe in someones arms, in his arms. He ruined me, I ruined him, we ruined each other, and I don't know how to get past it now that I am back home and face to face with my decision.

"He did choose us though, maybe not at first, and maybe when he finally did I just didn't listen, but eventually he chose me," and that was when I turned my back on him. What the hell was I thinking. In all this time I never bothered to back away from what I was doing, or stop creating my map of sorts. But I'm finished now and as I step back to admire the beautiful handiwork and see if I missed something, the front door flew often.

I spun around to see who the intruder was, Caleb was shielding Hanna behind him, Emily was crouched over Alison, still holding tightly in each others arms. But there was no need to be afraid, it was just Toby. Toby turned out to be drunk as a skunk, I could smell the whiskey on him from across the room, and seeing my wall, it must have been to much crazy for one place, because he just collapsed into the chair and stared open mouthed at the wall.

We all just stared at him, he busts in abruptly, and then doesn't say anything? We expected to be attacked, but when we saw it was him I'm sure everyone adjusted their expectations to being yelled and ranted at... even that didn't happen.

"Toby?" I start to move towards him, but he held his hands above his head, I'm assuming to tell me to back off. I don't know how to help him with this, he was the one always helping me, maybe that was my problem.

"I see the fact that your family basically destroyed mine hasn't slowed you down Spencer," he was slurring his words, it was 10 o'clock in the morning, had he just woken up with a bottle of whiskey? What's gotten into him... doesn't he have a job to go too?

"You're drunk," I tell him. It's like the rest of the room faded away, he wants to make this personal, then fine, I have a few free minutes, let's make this personal.

"I'm drunk because of you! Because your brother killed my mom, because your dad lied to me about it, because you came back to town and all this started up again, I'M DRUNK BECUASE OF YOU!" by the end of that little rant he was yelling. Did he seriously just come here to pick a fight with me.

"And what? Oh poor Toby he is hurt, so he gets to act out? Is that it? Well guess what I'm hurt too, you don't see me lashing out at you do you?" I mean granted I hurt myself by leaving him, but you know what, it was for the best at the time. But he doesn't get to be the only one hurt in this.

"You ruined me Spencer! I throw away my career for you every time I need too, I put my life on the line every time I need too. I hate you, and I fucking love you. I wait for you, I watch for you, you own me, I base all of my actions off of you!" he is standing now and we are face to face. His face is red, and tears are rolling down his face. God I hate drunk people, their emotions are all over the place. It's too early in the day for all of his shit.

"You own me! You think I don't hold my breath every time you walk in the room? You think I wouldn't give anything to just turn back the clock and do it all over again, be the girl you fell in love with? Well I'm not, it's been four years, you don't know me anymore... but I wait for you, and watch for you, you own me too Toby! My every feeling is controlled by the look on your face, I can't breathe, I don't sleep. If I could escape all of this," I point to wall behind me, "if we could out run Charles, I would run away with you, I exist FOR YOU!" I'm crying now because this is the moment I've been dreading since I got back. When our flood gates would break and everything would come crashing down around us, I just didn't expect to have an audience to my breakdown.

"Your nobody's victim Spencer, your the one that left! You took off across the country without even a second look! Charles is attacking all of you because of the fucked up shit you did, my family got dragged into your fucked up family drama, if anyone get's to play the victim here, it's me," he was gritting his teeth and speaking in a lower voice then he was before. I could see the veins popping out of his neck, he was angry now, not sad.

The other girls were just kind of standing around, doing everything but looking at us. How could this have happened, in front of them. Why is Toby falling apart now, of all times. We need him to keep a clear head in this. I need to keep a clear head in all of this.

"You know what Toby, your mom was just as crazy as anyone else in Radley, crazy people go crazy on each other, that's just how the world works. Grow up! You knew we did fucked up things, you don't get to come in here and act like you just found this out! Spencer left you, and it hurt, and you want her to hurt as much as you do, so you get drunk and come over here to plunge the knife into her heart. Congratulations it worked, but while you are too busy crying about your heart and your ego, we are trying to make this town safe again, if you can't get on board with that OFFICER, then you can get the fuck out," it was Alison, she's standing up for me?

It had been a long while since we had seen territorial Alison DiLaurentis in all her former glory. We could use that, if we want to beat this, we are going to need everyone to be willing to bring out their darkest side. "Toby, I love you, I'm in love with you, I always have been, but I don't have time to be distracted. I made a mistake, leaving you, it was for the best, but sometimes doing what's best is a mistake, but it was mine to make and I made it. I'm living with that everyday! You either deal with living with it or don't, but I can't feel guilty for the both us, I'm drowning in my own guilt as it is."

"This is not what I came here for!" he runs his fingers through his hair as he starts pacing back and forth.

"Then what are you here for Toby?" The girls were paying attention now, Alison getting involved made them all get involved, it's always been this way. Most of the time that is an amazing thing, but sometimes we need our privacy, the blow up that just happened should have been a private moment, it would have been if he wasn't shit faced.

"I came, because apparently I haven't kicked myself enough since you got back, and I needed a little more misery," he was burning holes in the floor with how hard he was staring. He wouldn't look at any of us. "So what have you found out?" he emotional switch is going to give me whiplash.

"Well we have pieces, but we can't connect them to anybody, we don't have a face, we don't have fingerprints, we don't have anything, and we have everything, if that makes any sense," Emily walked over to stand in front of the wall. She has her Serious Emily face on.

"I can do what Spencer said, I can get a computer program to age his face, but it won't be exact, and I could hack into security cameras around town, but he has always had minions, what makes you think he is going to be stupid enough to show his face around here?" Caleb decided he could chime in now. We need him in all his super hacker glory, maybe that new job he has can help us.

"He has been sitting pretty, getting fat for four years," Alison is pacing up and down the living room, "he has to have gone safe. I mean what has he been doing the past four years? He has to have a life, he has to go outside to the grocery store or something. He can't hole up in some terrorist compound without going outside for four years. There is something, we are missing it, but there is something."

"How do we find him Ali? We don't know where that compound is, we don't know how many lies are parents have told to keep it a secret. Your mother is dead, she can't say anything, god knows what she lied to your father about, he might think his son is dead. And my parents, well we all know how upstanding they are," I can't believe we have everything and nothing at the same time. How does this happen. We have to be the most well rounded, most intelligent group of people with everything we have been through, how is it that we have nothing!

"We need to take this one step at a time. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Let's get what we have and then go from there," Emily taking charge, this would be me if I wasn't so out of my head with drugs, and guilt, and love for a stupid drunken boy. "Toby can you do this? Can you pull yourself together long enough to go to work and get the information we need?"

"You still haven't told me what you need exactly," he is still slurring but it sounds like he is controlling his words so he doesn't sound so drunk, or maybe so he doesn't fly off the handle again, I don't really know.

"We need any evidence from me shooting him, we need anything you can get from the night you guys busted into his vault, and anything from that investigation," Emily was looking at the wall, her hands on her hips, she was studying, she was good at this, she was good at taking charge when it needed to happen. I used to be that way, but I can't concentrate when Toby is in the room.

"How the hell am I supposed to just stroll out of the department with all of that," he stood up and was pacing around with Alison, "Tanner will notice if I move a hair anywhere, especially with you guys back in town."

"Copy it, whatever you have to do, just do your part, that is if you can put the whiskey down long enough to do your damn job," Hanna stepped up now. When did we all become bitches? What they hell has happened to us?

"Who the hell are you to tell me I drink to much? I seem to remember a time when you couldn't go an hour without a drink. Are you telling me you weren't being irresponsible then?" Toby and Hanna having a stand off, this was derailing fast.

"No, but someone snapped me out of it, I'm trying to do the same to you! Just because I am being a bitch doesn't mean I don't care, bitch is just the only language drunks speak," I could see it in Hanna's eyes, she doesn't hate him, she is just worried, hell after our little performance I'm sure they are all worried.


End file.
